Fitzcarraldo: Why do things the easy way?

Fitzcarraldo is the second Werner Herzog film I've seen about an ill-fated voyage on the Amazon led by Klaus Kinski. The first one, Aguirre: The Wrath of God, reminded me of the beautiful insanity of Apocalypse Now, which it undoubtedly helped to inspire. The production difficulties of this film are also reminiscent of Apocalypse Now and they are documented in the film Burden of Dreams, expect to see a post on that in the near future.

Although it was truly marvelous to see a three-story tall boat dragged over a mountain (or a hill, if you want to be all accurate about it), I don't think that this film is as strong as Aguirre. That was about a man loosing himself to mad ambition while this one is about a man finding himself through his mad ambition. Maybe you disagree but for me it's much more fascinating to watch a man gradually self-destruct. It seems more honest.

Also, it takes a really long time for this film to get going. It's frustrating to watch a movie that's famous for moving a boat up a 40 degree slope and have to wait until halfway through before that feat is even suggested. It wouldn't bee so bad if the film jumped straight into Kinski in the jungle dealing with the mysterious Indians (Native-Peruvians?) but I think the first 45 minutes were about Kinski trying to build an opera house in a city. Not what I signed up for.

Although I can loose my patience with him and get a little bored, I must admit that Herzog is a daring filmmaker. He makes bold choices and is willing to go through hell to capture his vision on celluloid. Even if his films don't always entertain me, I'm always left with a few images that I just can't shake.


I still can't believe that Klaus Kinski is Nastassja Kinski's father. She is super hot (at least she was in 1984) and he resembles the undead.

Shaw Legends Double Feature - Iron Fist Adventures/The Thundering Ninja: I think this title is long enough without my pithy remarks

First of all, I just want to say that Shaw Brothers Studio, founded by brothers Run Run Shaw and Run Me Shaw, is awesome. I was lucky enough to catch Vengeance!, The 36th Chamber of Shaolin and Intimate Confessions of a Chinese Courtesan at the Film Festival a few years ago and they were some of the coolest movies I have ever seen. Ever. In my life.

I was super-excited when I saw that five double features labeled as "Shaw Legends" were on Netflix even if their release date was "unknown". After about a year of sitting in my "Saved" section release dates were finally assigned and I did a little more research. I discovered that these films were not actually produced by the Shaw Brothers but were only films that featured actors who became "legendary" by working with the Shaw Brothers. That's sort of like seeing Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Life of Brian then buying a "Monty Python Legends" set containing Yellowbeard and The Adventures of Pluto Nash. Basically, this was a huge let down.

The first film, Iron Fist Adventures had something to do with politics, family, revenge and, I don't know, some other crap. It was really shitty in a boring way, not shitty in a fun way like a low-budget martial arts epic should be.

I think I would have liked The Thundering Ninja, the second film a lot more if the life hadn't been drained out of me by the previous movie. It's actually a remake of The Criminal (not that you've ever heard of that) if you count taking the majority of footage from one movie and adding white guys dressed as ninjas as "remaking". The plot involved a white ninja gang trying to steal missile plans from the US Government while being pursued by the CIA. What were a group of ninjas going to do with missile plans? I couldn't tell you.

Slither: Evolution is evil (not the teaching of it, rather the process that allows other species to become superior to us)

Horror-Comedy is one of my favorite genres, it's right up there with Film Noir, German Expressionism and Spaghetti Westerns. Slither is a great example of this genre, it might not be Shaun of the Dead-great or Severance-great but it's still pretty awesome. I love how these films reference/parody other horror movies. This one owes a lot to Rabid but it also draws heavily from The Blob, Alien, The Thing, Tremors and, possibly, Squirm.

My biggest criticism is that it focuses too much on goofiness and not enough on the scary. Maybe I'm just spoiled because I'm used to seeing Nathan Fillion on "Firefly" and if anyone can balance comedy with darker elements, it's Joss Whedon. Either way, it was good to see Elizabeth Banks. I think she's great and I'm glad that she's getting steady work without becoming a star. Sometimes fame can ruin people. Oh, and how can you put Jenna Fischer in a movie and not let her do anything? I mean, come on, she was sleeping with the director. What's a girl got to do to get a decent role?

A lot of comedies and spoofy movies come apart at the end, so I was really impressed that this one managed to culminate with an incredibly creepy and funny scene that also managed to be kinda sweet. They also did a great job of sidestepping expectations and delivering some real surprises.


Veteran character-actor Michael Rooker turns into a giant squid-type monster. What more do you want out of a movie?

Once: Pretty music

I really liked Once, even if it's not much of a movie. It mainly serves as a platform for Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová to make beautiful music together (for the record, that's a single entendre). The plot almost seems like an afterthought. I mean, the main characters don't even have names, for Christ's sake. If you don't fall in love with these performers you will hate this movie. Fortunately, they're pretty hard to resist.


Ah Ireland, how I long for your beautiful scenery and your homely people.

Unbreakable: Spoiler alert!

I try not to talk about the endings of movies that people might see but I figure that since Unbreakable came out seven years ago it's probably safe. But, before I get to that, I'd like to say that I disagree with, what appears to be, the common consensus on M. Night Shyamalan. Namely that The Sixth Sense is awesome, Unbreakable was a let-down, Signs sucked, The Village was awful and Lady in the Water warranted a lynching. I think he's mainly been criticized for repeating himself but I don't think there's anything wrong with that. There's not a lot of variety in Hitchcock's oeuvre but he's still one of the greatest directors ever. I think there's a lot to say about a craftsman who find his niche and produces elegant variations on a theme. Shyamalan has consistently made films that are thrilling, funny and just generally entertaining. Yeah, he can go a little overboard and take his audience in bizarre directions but I admire a guy with that much audacity and imagination.

Anyway, on to the film and, more specifically, the ending. I like how Shyamalan basically gives away the ending right before it happens. It softens the blow and doesn't make it seem like he's trying to pull a fast one on you. I mean, when Bruce Willis is told that there are two kinds of villains, the lesser ones that fight with their hands and the real villain who fights with his mind, we know that we know that Willis has yet to face the mastermind. Also, we know that the film is almost over so there isn't enough time to introduce a new character. That narrows the search down to pretty much Willis' wife, son and the slightly deranged character played by Samuel L. Jackson. The choice is clear, especially if we recall Jackson's line "However unreal it may seem, we are connected, you and I. We're on the same curve, just on opposite ends."

However, I didn't really buy Jackson's motivation. His whole reason for being evil was an existential crisis. I mean, if he was trying to locate Willis so that he could lock him up in his lab and perform experiments on him until he could figure out how to steal Willis' unbreakability, reducing his own breakableness, that would make sense. But believing that "the scariest thing is . . . (t)o not know your place in this world, to not know why you're here" to the point of killing lots of innocent people? That's kinda silly.


I can't believe that Samuel L. Jackson was really Bruce Willis' father . . . and a sled! Oh Manoj, you've done it to us again.

She's All That: And a bag of potato chips

I've always been confused by how I made it through high school without seeing She's All That until I realized that it was released during my freshman year of college. It's a solid teen flick but I wasn't crazy about the leads. That made me a little sad because I used to have a huge crush on Rachael Leigh Cook. I loved her in Josie and the Pussycats (one of the most underrated films of all-time), All I Wanna Do (an awesome movie, even if Joe Hofman and I are the only ones who have ever seen it), and Antitrust (she managed to make that one bearable) but I guess she just doesn't do it for me anymore. Oh, and I'm pretty sure that Freddie Prinze, Jr. is just famous because his dad was a shitty actor.

I would have liked to see more of the supporting cast. It's almost a crime to have Anna Paquin, Dulé Hill, Clea DuVall, Gabrielle Union and Kevin Pollak in your movie and not really give them anything to do. I mean, Sarah Michelle Gellar wasn't allowed to talk for Christ's sake! However, in a film that also features The Sherminator and that guy from the Twix commercial I was glad that they found time to give Matthew Lillard a decent part. He was truly awesome as a reality show reject, I kinda wish the whole movie was about his Brock Hudson. See, even his name is the coolest!


"I wanted Mary Ann on "Gilligan's Island" ugly, not Cornelius on Planet of the Apes ugly. TV ugly, not . . . ugly-ugly."

Crumb: Who's Robert Crumb?

R. Crumb is probably best known for his "Keep on Truckin' . . ." illustration (above), a Big Brother & The Holding Company (Janis Joplin's band) album cover or Fritz the Cat (which he is none too proud of). He's also been accused of being a misogynist and a racist. I'm not really familiar enough with his work to say whether he's commenting on misogynism and racism or just being them. However, I do get the impression that he's the kind of artist who just takes whatever messed up thoughts are in his head and puts them on paper. That probably doesn't make for the most enlightened work but it's certainly honest.

There's a fine line between genius and madness and Crumb shows us how that line runs through one family. You know things are bad when the successful and happily-married brother is the one who was sexually attracted to Bugs Bunny as a child. And I'm not talking about Bugs dressed as a woman (hey, we've all been there) I mean regular old Bugs.

It's fascinating to see how similar Robert is to his oldest brother, Charles, and how differently their lives turned out. They're both talented artists who are also giant freaks. Yet, Robert was able to venture out into the world and carve out a niche for himself while Charles became a shut-in, living with his mother in a house with comforters hung up to block the windows. Even Max, Robert's youngest brother, escaped from home. If only to become a beggar who sits on a bed of nails on the streets of San Francisco.

Basically, this is a great documentary. Even if it did loose me for a little bit while that art critic was comparing Crumb to Goya, Brueghel and Daumier.


R. Crumb is on the far right, his relatively well-adjusted brother is in the middle and his, surprisingly, somewhat-normal son is on the left.

The Big Easy: Peasy Japanesey

The Big Easy is one of those movies that people have been telling me to see for years and I can see why. Its got a pair of great early performances by Dennis Quaid and Ellen Barkin as well as some good supporting work from Ned Beatty and John Goodman. It's even got a cameo by Jim Garrison who you may remember as the character played by Kevin Costner in JFK or, if you're really old, the overzealous District Attorney of Orleans Parish from, uh, life.

That being said, I'm not sure how much I actually liked it. There were some great parts and the love scenes between Barkin and Quaid were pretty hot but I was hoping that it would be more of a neo-Noir, like Body Heat. Also, I could have done without the mega-happy ending. It seemed really gratuitous.

As a side note, I'm sure there are plenty of reasons to like Dennis Quaid (like, his talent) but for me his appeal boils down to one thing, he's got the Calvin Smile. It is a rare condition where one's smile forms an upside-down equilateral triangle. I had a roommate who suffered from it and it's one of the most goodwill inducing things I've ever seen. Seriously, how can you not love the little scamp?


According to IMDb: The production company was aided greatly in its ability to film in and around New Orleans by the state's Film Commission. Shortly after this film (which is about political corruption) premiered, several members of the Film Commission were indicted in a kickback scandal.

Awesome.

Grandma's Boy: Old ladies doing weed, that's funny. Right?

Another mysterious entry in my Netflix queue is Grandma's Boy, an Adam Sandler movie only with Allen Covert instead of Adam Sandler. Who is Allen Covert? Exactly.

It also had Linda Cardellini from "Freaks and Geeks" (who's not as cute as a blonde) and I really sympathize for actresses in these kinds of films. Their job is to be a plot device and window dressing. It doesn't seem very rewarding. Oh well, at least she had a small part in Brokeback Mountain.


It was nice to see Kevin Nealon again. I hope he gets back to doing comedy soon.

The Band Wagon: Hey everybody, let's put on a show!

Roger Ebert's Great Movies led me to the MGM musical The Band Wagon. It's directed by Vincente Minnelli (the father of that talented crackpot), stars an aging Fred Astaire (he's not Funny Face-old but he's pretty close) and features a key supporting role by Oscar Levant (who's not nearly as cool in this as he was in An American in Paris).

This film was written by Betty Comden and Adolph Green a year after the pair did Singin' in the Rain and this feels like a pale imitation of that (only with Broadway instead of Hollywood). Near the end it has a long, artsy dance number just like "Gotta Dance" (or the ballet in An American in Paris for that matter). Even the signature song “That’s Entertainment” seems like a second-rate “Make ‘em Laugh”.

If you're trying to figure out whether or not to watch this I'd ask you how much you liked Singin' in the Rain. If you're like me and you think that it's overrated and kind of uneven, I'd say you can give this one a miss. On the other had, if you think that it's the greatest movie ever made, I'd tell you to catch this one. It might not be as good but, hey, what is?


Do you find that picture as creepy as I do?