The Hottest State: Is love or maybe hate, wait-no, it's Texas

Ethan Hawke, apparently, wrote a book. He then adapted said book into a screenplay and directed it while also taking a minor, but significant, role for himself. The result is The Hottest State, a solid film which delves into some pretty well-worn territory without really bringing anything new.

The movie begins on a promising note when a Texas girl decides to get it on with a guy in the back of a car after hearing him tell a version of the "God Damn Fish" joke. The result of their coupling is a suspiciously Ethan Hawkeish young man played by Mark Webber. He eventually meets Catalina Sandino Moreno (the chick from Maria Full of Grace) and what follows is a lot of joy and a lot of sorrow for the two of them.

It's basically a "Life of an Affair" film that gets hijacked at the very end by a "Finding Yourself" film (yeah, I thought that was weird too). It's well acted and provides some charming moments of young love tempered by painfully awkward and occasionally hostile scenes to keep things interesting. I feel like Hawke has proven himself as a competent director with this movie but he needs a more inspired script to really shine.


Love hurts. Hey, somebody should write a song about that.

The Chronicles of Narnia - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe: Aslan, king of the whose?

Watching The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe was an odd experience for me. I read the book back when I was in elementary school or, if I recall correctly, my father read it to my sister and I (but I read the rest of the series all by myself!) and I didn't remember much about it. In fact, near the end of the film, I began wondering if the White Witch would be defeated at the end of this movie and, if so, who was the antagonist for the rest of the books? It wasn't until this film was in production that I was introduced to the idea that Aslan=Jesus. Funny, how things that seem so obvious now can go completely over an eight-year-old's head.

This brings me to another thing that I had absolutely no memory of: Santa Claus. Really? The Narnianinians (or whatever you call them) celebrate Christmas? Christmas? The Mass that celebrates Christ's birth? That only works if Aslan totally and completely is Jesus. As in Aslan, lion-god of Narnia, is the word of God, Elohim, made flesh and sent to Second Temple era Jerusalem to be crucified for man's sins. Based on the fact that the Narnianites refer to the humans as "sons of Adam" and "daughters of eve" I think that's what C. S. Lewis is getting at. Well, that and my foggy recollections of the big reveal at the end of "The Last Battle". I guess I should really just read the series again.

As for the film itself, it's a serviceable adaptation but it never really astonishes. The CGI effects are well-done but not excellent, the actors are good to pretty-good but not exceptional, and the big battle scene is impressive but not epic. I couldn't really point out anything that's wrong with it, it's just that there wasn't anything that the filmmakers really nailed either. The real problem with this adaptation is that it makes Lewis's magnum opus look like a second-rate Lord of the Rings.


Are you a good witch or a, uh . . . nevermind.

Head: Hey, hey we're waiting to be taken seriously by people who do lots of drugs

I'm certainly no expert on the subject but as near as I can tell The Monkees were created as a spoof of The Beatles, only once they were assembled the group decided that they actually wanted to be The Beatles. It was this tension which was the undoing of their TV show's second season (at least, that's what it sounds like here) and what motivated the pre-fab four to deconstruct their mythos in the film Head. This movie features Annette Funicello and Frank Zappa which, I think, says everything you need to know about what it tries to achieve. And why it fails.

The film has a circular structure but no plot that I could identify. There seemed to be a theme that involved subverting each of the Monkees studio-defined images (in real life Peter Tork is not, in fact, retarded) but it was a little hard to make out. The whole thing is very psychedelic. And by psychedelic, I mean drug-influenced, somewhat juvenile, boarder-line incoherent and still kinda compelling. Or, at least, interesting in it's uniqueness.

Even if Head is more or less a complete fiasco, it sill has a prominent (or, at least, unique) place in film history. It was directed by Bob Rafelson, written by Jack Nicholson and Rafelson, and produced by Bert Schneider, Nicholson and Rafelson. The next year Nicholson and Schneider went on to do Easy Rider and after that all three of them were involved in the creation of Five Easy Pieces. These men, like the phoenix, rose from the ashes of an ill-conceived musical to begin a decade of challenging, revolutionary films. Also, Dennis Hopper was hanging around the set (he can be seen in the background, briefly, along with Rafelson and Nicholson) so you know he was mixed up in this whole thing, even if he doesn't have any official credits.


The choreography for this film was done by Toni Basil which begs the question: Did she find Micky Dolenz to be so fine?

The Most Beautiful: By beautiful, we mean efficient

Akira Kurosawa may be the greatest director of all-time but everyone has to start somewhere. For Kurosawa that was Judo Saga. Unfortunately, Netflix doesn't have that so I had to start with his second directorial outing, The Most Beautiful. It's not very good.

The film is a piece of Japanese wartime propaganda from 1944 (not an especially good year for Imperial Japan). It's about the Japanese equivalents to Rosie the Riveter and it involves a lot of noble suffering while doing one's duty to one's country and concerns about efficiency.

Other than the historical glimpse that the movie offers, the most interesting thing about this was the dreadfully bad subtitles. Clearly, this DVD wasn't made with Western audiences i mind. One special feature offered a Kurosawa bio which noted that the legendary director's "other masterpieces . . . were also frequently awarded in many Film Awards". It also noted the sad story that "at the age of sixty-one, the depressed Kurosawa committed suicide and fortunately was saved". Fortunately indeed, less-than-proficient translator. Fortunately indeed.


This woman's admirable patriotism inspired her to toil long into the night, building something which might have been used to kill your grandfather.

Superbad: More like SuperAWESOME

When Seth Rogen was 13 years old he began writing a movie with his best friend Evan Goldberg. Naturally, they named this project Superbad. Then they spent approximately half their lives punching up the script and their restless effort really shows. This film is filled with great lines that are really sold by the casual style of the cast lead by Michael Cera which gives the movie a spontaneous, improvised feel.

Cera seems to embody the essence of the movie which takes his fresh-faced innocence and adds vulgar wit. It's truly a marvel when someone can make a film so hilariously raunchy while keeping the core sweet without copping out and getting all cheesy (I'm looking at you, American Pie). It's a delicate balancing act and Superbad pulls it off flawlessly.

It's also a great example of what I'm going to call the "All Night" movie (it's sort of a sub-genre of the Coming of Age film). It's a movie that takes place over a roughly 24-hour period, generally from sunrise to sunrise, where a character or characters begins what seems like a typical day but ends up as a voyage into the unknown of the night. By the time daybreak is upon them they've seen things that challenged their beliefs and they are forever changed by the experience. Great examples of this genre include After Hours, Do the Right Thing, Dazed and Confused, Clerks. and Before Sunrise (yeah, I doubled-up on Linklater. So what?).

Wait, I seem to have gone off on a tangent. Did I mention how funny this movie is? Because it is hilarious (I won't spoil anything for the people who haven't seen it but the best joke is totally not a big deal and affects, like, eight percent of the population). The best part is that the comedy springs forth from the characters naturally. It doesn't feel like set-ups and punch-lines. Most of the laughs come from the characters' organic interactions which makes viewing it feel like you're hanging out with your friends. Or at least, it would if your friends were really good at comedic repartee.

Basically, this movie totally and completely rules.


FunFact: Seth Rogen is very funny.

The Matador: In real life only creepy loners get into the cloak & dagger game

After a seven-year stint as the world's coolest spy and five years as Remington Steele (who, I was surprised to find out, is not a razor) Pierce Brosnan lets loose in The Matador. Way loose.

Brosnan riffs on his previous spook work by playing an international assassin. Only instead of playing a worldly and debonair man of mystery he plays a washed-up loser who's reduced to getting drunk alone in his hotel room on his birthday because he can't even get his old pals to take his calls.

Eventually, Brosnan meets up with Greg Kinnear in a hotel bar in Mexico and the two make a natural connection. Kinnear is enamored with Brosnan's top secret, jet-setting lifestyle which provides an escapist fantasy for his dull, suburban existence and Brosnan is able to make a rare human connection and indulge his dreams of a stable life and a loving support system of family and friends. Of course, things are never easy for a hit man and Brosnan attempts to enlist Kinnear's help to pull off (you guessed it) one last job.

I've mostly just described the plot but what really struck me about this film was the tone. Unfortunately, that's also the most difficult thing to describe. The Matador treads a fine line between being a thriller and being a satire. I'd describe it as a character study but I think that's sort of a vague phrase and I'm not sure that it helps. I could say that it's a dark film with bits of comic relief but I'm not sure that it isn't a comedy with a seedy undertone. Can I just say that it has a certain . . . I don't know what.


Yes, Pierce Brosnan is wearing cowboy boots in that picture. You're welcome, ladies.

The Lower Depths: It might have been good

The Lower Depths is a film directed by Renoir. Not the painter, his son. I saw it almost a month ago and I can't remember a thing about it.

Not. A. Thing.

Gay Movies: Spider Lilies

Spider Lilies is a Taiwanese film (Taiwan: The other China) about an uptight young woman being seduced by a younger free-spirited girl. Maybe uptight isn't the best way to describe a tattoo artist but Takeko is definitely reserved and afraid of making an emotional connection, especially with another girl (why yes, that can be linked back to a traumatic event from her youth). On the other hand, Jade is an engaging high-school girl who has a part-time job as a sex worker on the Internet.

Jade's career as a webcam girl sparks an odd and completely irrelevant sub-plot. The film keeps cutting away from the would-be couple to a woefully inept police officer who is assigned to monitor these sights. His entire job appears to be watching Internet porn and he doesn't seem that good at it. He's more interested in chatting with underage girls than he is with ending their exploitation. This goes nowhere and has nothing to do with anything.

The girls are cute and you want them to get together. Actually, you really want them to hook-up just to see something happen. It's a really slow movie. I'd say that more girl-on-girl action would help but really, when isn't that the case?


On IMDb there's a message board thread called "Any Similar, Better, films?" I think that sums up my feelings on this movie.

Gay Movies: Each Time I Kill

Seeing Each Time I Kill confused me because the only gay thing about it is a very brief cameo by John Waters (Full disclosure: I don't know that Waters is gay, I just assume). Maybe Doris Wishman, the cult director behind this movie, was a lezzie. I say "was" because the guy who introduced the film told us she had died shortly after filming this and that the editing was done after her death. Looking her up on IMDb, I noticed that she shuffled off this mortal coil in 2002. So they certainly took their sweet time getting this thing together.

The film is about Ellie, an awkward and unfortunate-looking girl, who discovers a magic doodad that allows her to switch one of her physical features with someone else. However, in order to achieve this she must first murder the person whose feature she wishes to steal. She makes a couple of good kills giving herself a great complexion and ridding herself of her frightening buck-teeth but she looses the audience's sympathy when she murders a fellow high-schooler for her hair. I mean, I can understand bumping a couple people off to get glowing skin and a winning smile but slaying someone to get rid of your lady-mullet? Why not try treating yourself to a fancy salon first and only fall back on murder if absolutely necessary? However, I was glad to see that she did refrain from homicide when it came to her tits. She just did some bizarre thing with duct tape to make the twins pop out a little more. Girlfriend's not completely heartless.

Gay Movies: Nina's Heavenly Delights

Nina's Heavenly Delights is just like Bend It Like Beckham, only with food instead of soccer. And Scotland instead of England. And Parminder Nagra ends up with Keira Knightley.

It might not be great but it's a thoroughly enjoyable trifle.

Before the film started, the director came out and warned us that there weren't any sex scenes and jokingly commented that her film contained "food porn". She was right. A lot of the plot involves Nina teaching a Scottish girl how to make Indian food, and the cooking scenes were hot. Watching two cute girls flirtatiously prepare ethnic food combines too many of my favorite things to ignore. There was also some stuff about a ghost dad, saving the family restaurant, winning a cooking competition, and old flames being rekindled. But, honestly, who cares about that when there's good food and chicks making out?


I bet you're wondering if this film contains a big Bollywood-inspired musical number. But do you really have to ask?