Veni, vidi . . . that's about it

18 1/2 Philadelphia Film Festival: Opening Night

2009-10-15T23:52:00.004-04:00

Okay, so the Philadelphia Film Society and TLA Entertainment broke up. The Film Society will continue the Philadelphia Film Festival while TLA is starting its own festival called CineFest. The rift occurred a while ago but the two groups were able to work together one last time for April's awkwardly named Philadelphia Film Festival and CineFest 09. But now the split is official and it looks like Film Society wanted to get the jump on TLA by producing a mini festival this fall, the oddly titled 18 1/2 Philadelphia Film Festival (April being the 18th time Philadelphia has had a film festival). Anyway, for opening night they had one movie:

Law Abiding Citizen

This movie is exactly what it looks like it's going to be from the trailers. I think that's the fairest review I can give it. I've talked to people who think this movie looks terrible and people who think it looks awesome. They're both right. There's nothing really original or exceptional here but the film has a brisk pace that lets it keep the action coming without giving you too much time to think about the ridiculous plot or muddled social commentary. For me, this movie just barely managed to avoid drowning in a sea of mediocrity by keeping its head above water. But hey, there were some great shots of Philly and an awesome cameo that will probably be lost on anyone who isn't a local. There are worse ways to start a film festival.

Philadelphia Film Festival & Cinefest '09: Closing Night

2009-04-06T23:55:00.007-04:00

Okay, last super-late post before I get to the new festival:

Salt of This Sea

Israelis and Palestinians, they've had their differences over the years. There's obviously a rich history to this region but what foes that mean to some New Yorker chick? That's the staggeringly inessential question that this film tries to answer. I think you're supposed to sympathize with this granddaughter of a Palestinian refugee but she seems like the epitome of "the ugly American". She barges into a strange country, makes ridiculous demands, and throws a tantrum when she doesn't get what she wants. This woman robs an Israeli bank because of the persecution she feels she has endured by the Israelis. Apparently Israel is so powerful that it can oppress third-generation immigrants in Brooklyn. And the nicer the Israelis get the more petulant this woman becomes! The Middle East has enough problems, we don't need American tourists stirring things up.

Marcello, Marcello

This charming little film takes place in a small Italian fishing village in the 1950s. The town has an unusual tradition where, on a girl's eighteenth birthday, all the boys bring her father a present and then he allows the bearer of the best gift to take his daughter on her first date. How they prevent teenage girls from going on dates until they turn eighteen is left unexplained. Anyway, our hero Marcello is the son of a poor fisherman and he never participates in this ritual because he can't afford presents (at least, not any presents that are good enough to get the girl). Of course, Marcello is in love with a girl and he must find the perfect gift for her eighteenth birthday. The problem is that her father is the mayor of the village and the other, richer boys are pulling out all the stops to win her hand. The tradition is especially weighty because so many villagers wind up marrying the boys who take them on their first date. Fortunately, Marcello notices that the mayor is woken up by a rooster every morning and realizes that presenting him with that rooster will be a far better gift than anything the other boys can buy. Unfortunately, the owner of the rooster hates the mayor and won't part with his pet for anything . . . except maybe for two bottles of a rare limoncello. Well, Marcello rushes off to a small island to locate the prized commodity but the sisters who make the stuff won't part with their precious reserves . . . unless Marcello can get something of theirs back from a shopkeeper. Naturally, this becomes a very complicated process and it is an absolute joy to watch Marcello scramble about the village trading favors to secure the one gift that will get him his love.

I Sell the Dead

Dominic Monahan stars in this horror-comedy about two hapless grave robbers in 18th century England. It's a fun movie but somehow not as much fun as it should be. I mean, it's good for chuckles, not laughs. It was disappointing, I really wanted to love this movie but I just couldn't get into it. The premise was great and the actors did their parts but it just didn't quite come together the way it should have. Amusing but not a must see.

Philadelphia Film Festival & Cinefest '09: Day 11

2009-04-05T23:52:00.018-04:00

Okay, so I totally dropped the ball on this one but I want to wrap up the last film festival before I get to the most recent one. Most of this post was written six months ago. I just didn't get around to finishing until now.* Anyway, I'm sorry to keep you waiting. I know you've been dieing to read my thoughts on movies you've never heard of:

Training Rules

For decades the women's basketball program at Penn State war run by Rene Portland, an unrepentant bigot who wouldn't allow lesbians to play for her. In 2006 a student who stood up to her after being kicked off the team for her perceived sexual orientation. This documentary tells her story in the blandest way possible. I'm sorry, documentaries are suppose to be films and this felt like a "20/20" Special Report, even the 57-minute running time felt made for TV. On a scale of one to five (official grading scale of the festival) I give the story a four but the execution a two.

Surveillance

In general, I feel like police procedurals no longer have a place in the film world. With three versions of "CSI" and four iterations of "Law and Order" (not counting their documentary series) it seems like the stories are pretty well played out. This film sets itself apart by telling a story that couldn't be told on the small screen but I'm not sure that it's a story worth telling. The main thing this movie has going for it is the strong hand of director Jennifer Lynch (the daughter of a noted filmmaker). It's a slick, good-looking suspenseful flick with a ridiculous plot. This one, I give a two for the story but a four for the execution (again on a scale of one to five).

Straight for the Kill

Shorts program with a horror theme:

White Radishes - A man attempts to rescue a girl being used as radish fertilizer. Creepy and beautiful looking.

The Fairy Princess - Suspenseful film about a man who kidnaps unsupervised trick-or-treaters. Great ending.

I Don’t Sleep I Dream - This was weird. Like, weird in an I-don't-understand-what's-going-on way, not weird in a good way.

A Little Mouth to Feed - A woman who's been trying desperately to conceive is told by her husband that her constant calls to God are of no use. She decides to direct her prayers elsewhere and finally gets results. Creepy and suspenseful.

Rite - Very little dialogue is used in this stylish look at a society where everyone gets the end of their ring finger cut off as a symbol of adulthood.

The Painter of Skies - Beautiful but tedious animated film about an artist who must overcome his demons to produce a hopeful painting that he can put into his lighthouse machine to make the weather nice and return home . . . or something.

Side Effect - The babysitter is preparing a roast turkey - Look, I think we all know where this is going. The only thing about this film that's interesting is that instead of a hippie high on illegal drugs we're presented with an over achiever strung out on prescription meds that are supposed to keep her awake and focused. Oh, how societal fears have changed.

The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon - An attack from a spoon-wielding ghoul goes from annoying to torturous over a period of years as the relentless killer stops at nothing in this very funny spoof of horror trailers.

Treevenge - As awesome as it sounds! This pitch perfect parody of late 70s/early 80s horror films offers a look at Christmas from the trees' perspective and then the bloody, bloody aftermath as the plants take their revenge and the topiary revolution begins.

Hardcore Heroes and Heroines

Another shorts program, this time with a disturbing theme:

80% - "Hey, it's Jenn!" That was my first thought when watching this dark short about a dystopian future (or past, steampunk throws me off) where the world is dying of thirst. It's fun to see your friends on the big screen, even if you're a little confused about the plot. But two other people I know were in this short and it had a great look and an ominous tone so I was happy with it.

Pie of the Day - Amusing animated film but it seemed very derivative of "The Ren & Stimpy Show".

Piñata - Very funny stop-motion animation about a piñata who's given the opportunity to take his revenge on humans. His bloody, bloody revenge.

The M.O.D presents MoneyLEGS - Bizarre but awesome animated short about a bushel of money with legs and the men who love it (her?). I believe there was singing and dancing.

Rx/OTC - Experimental horror film. And by "experimental" I mean "nonsensical".

Inside ARM UVI #1: Georges Bataille's Story of the Eye - Man, I don't know what to make of this one. It was based on a video installation that was part of the fringe festival. There were images of women with their eyes gouged out spliced together with some porn so, uh, it was interesting.

Thanks Blood - I don't remember this one. It must not have been that great.

Smut Cave - A mock public-access cable show purports to review the latest trends in internet pornography. This week's topic? Cake farters. It's an absurd but highly entertaining look at a ridiculous world. I think I was most impressed with how perfectly they nailed the amateurish production values and awkward delivery style of a non-professional host.

Apprentice - Pretty good but very long short about a junkie and his young protege. It seemed like a fairly realistic portrait of what it would be like to addicted to crack, living on the streets, and making your living as a low-end male prostitute but I don't think that's enough to base a 40-minute film on. Oh well, at least it had a few god moments of comic relief.

Go Go 70s

This film tells the true story of South Korea's first generation of rock and rollers. It begins as a light-hearted story about a bunch of kids trying to make it as rock stars. They're young and reckless and seem to be having a great time introducing Korean audiences to songs like "Soul Man" and "Proud Mary". Their band, The Devils, is pretty rockin' and the youthful hijinks are fun. But as tension with their neighbors to the north increases the government imposes a curfew for safety and The Devils are only able to perform by circumventing the law. They find a loophole that allows them to perform in a hotel (night clubs are forbidden) as long as they get the audience in before the curfew starts and keep them in until the wee hours of the morning when the curfew ends. Needless to say, this makes for a pretty sweet all-night party. Okay, so we've got rock 'n' roll, teenage rebellion and hot go-go dancers. Everything is going well but our years of watching VH1's "Behind the Music" have taught us that it's only a matter of time before the inevitable fall from grace and a straight shot to rock bottom. Only this time it's not the drugs or the egos or the girlfriends that break things up, it's the authorities. Basically, the entire band gets arrested for playing Western music. Arrested and tortured. Tortured for playing music. Rev. Shaw Moore wasn't even that strict. You see, there was a military coup in South Korea in 1961 that lead to a dictatorship until the president was assassinated in 1979 (only to face another coup, and subsequent military dictatorship, in 1980). It was really a wake-up call to realize that our hippies had it easy.

*Oh, and I'm sure that nobody cares but I'm back dating this post so that the date matches the day I saw these movies, not the date I finally got around to posting. I actually do that for all my festival posts but there usually isn't a six-month difference.

Philadelphia Film Festival & Cinefest '09: Day 10

2009-04-04T23:54:00.009-04:00

Joy of Singing

This spy caper is about government agents who are more interested in hoping into bed with the subjects of their investigation and each other than they are in finding the misplaced state secrets - Ah, the French! The case leads the agents to go undercover by posing as music students in this bizarre but delightful genre mash-up that gradually become more ridiculous as each scene passes without ever dropping it's deadpan tone. I know this is a cop out but I'm going to excerpt most of Raymond Murray's write-up from the festival guide because he does such a good job of summing up this unique film:

Odd is the first word that springs to mind when describing this effervescent French spy comedy, with the words witty, unpredictable, delightful and original following close behind. Secret agents Muriel (Marina Fois) and the boyish Philippe (Lorant Deutsch) are sent on a mission to find a USB key possibly hidden by Constance (Jeanne Balibar), the fetching widow of a recently killed black market uranium salesman . . . Will the alternately quarrelling and loving spy couple find the key? Er…that may not be the point in what director Ilan Duran Cohen (Grandsons, Confusion of Genders) calls an "anti-romantic comedy." It’s actually much more than that: it may be France’s first sexy musical/comedy/spy caper/thriller.

A Quay Brothers Sampler

Generally I don't understand what's going on in a Quay brothers film, in the strictest sense of the word, but that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy them. I mean, one of my favorite paintings is "Soft Construction with Boiled Beans (Premonition of Civil War)" by Salvador Dalí and I don't understand it at all. I think it's about war because it's right there in the title and, clearly, nothing good is going on in that painting but that's as deep as my understanding goes. But that doesn't mean that I can't appreciate on a purely visceral level. For me, the Quay brothers are the same way. They have such a distinctive and imaginative style that it's impossible to look away. Their films always seem to have an otherworldly feel to them with an ominous, almost frightening, tone. I don't get them but they're beautiful in their own horrifying way.

The Beautiful Person

France has long ago abandoned the love triangle in favor of the love dodecahedron. The primary relationship in this film is between a student and a teacher (played by the guy from The Dreamers). Of course the teacher has to break up with another teacher and the student he's currently seeing before he can make a move. There are lots of secrets, betrayals, and broken hearts. It's a well-made film but trying to keep track of all the relationships gave me a headache.

American Violet

Based on a true story, this film hits all the usual tropes of the oppressed-person-takes-a-stand-against-the-system-of-injustice-by-going-to-court film but manages to keep it all fresh and immensely watchable. It stars Nicole Beharie (who you should keep your eye on) with a supporting cast that features Alfre Woodard, Tim Blake Nelson, Charles S. Dutton and a gentleman with the curious name of Xzibit. The case at the heart of this film deals with racist police actions in Hearne, Texas during the 2000 elections. The DA ordered a drug raid on an apartment building based on the testimony of one man with a history of mental illness. An innocent woman is arrested and compelled to make a plea bargain that would give her a suspended sentence and allow her to return home to her children. This arrangement lets the DA's office claim another conviction and increase the amount of federal money they are entitled to. It's a terribly corrupt system that preys on the weakest people in the county and glorifies the powerful. The film tells the powerful story of how Regina Kelly (Dee Roberts in the film) stood up to this injustice with the help of the ACLU and a local lawyer. It also features uniformly strong performances and a clever screenplay. In a few weeks it's going to start showing up in theaters and I think it will appeal to a broad audience.

Art of the Devil 3

I missed the first two installments of this Thai horror series, so I'm a little out of my element here. The plot seemed overly complex and soap operay but at lest part of that is probably me being thrown into the middle of a story. It's a decent film but it's one of those horror movies that's more gross than it is scary.

Philadelphia Film Festival & Cinefest '09: Day 9

2009-04-03T23:57:00.008-04:00

Garbage Dreams

Cairo is the largest city in Africa and the Middle East but it has no official city-wide waste disposal system. This documentary tells the story of the Zaballeen, poor Egyptians who have been collecting garbage for 100 years (for a nominal fee) and then recycling it for profit. Their world is thrown into tumult when the government decides to modernize trash collection by hiring foreign firms. The Zaballeen complain because not only in their way of life being destroyed but their environment as well. While the Zaballeen pride themselves on being able to recycle 80% of the garbage they collect, the foreign firms are only able to recycle about 20%. When one of the Zaballeen boys takes a trip to Wales to see a high-tech recycling system, which is able to process 29% of refuse, he comments that it is quick but lacks precision. The Zaballeen do all their sorting by hand and are able to a lot more attention to detail. Oh, and the best part of the movie occurred in Wales when one of the boys said "Hey, did you see that car? It stopped so the pedestrians could cross the street!"

The Way We Get By

When soldiers and marines return to the U.S. from Iraq or Afghanistan over 75% of them arrive in Bangor Maine. When they get off the plane there are always civilians (including veterans) there to greet them and provide them with cell phones to call their loved ones. It's such a small gesture to show these men and women how much we appreciate their efforts but it really seems to mean something to them. This documentary explores the story of three senior citizens who are ready to drive miles in the snow at a moments notice to greet our troops. The film largely ignores the politics of the wars (as do the volunteers) in favor of more personal truths.

Plague Town

This horror film has a decently creepy premise but it just wasn't quite scary enough (or funny enough) to leave a lasting impression.

Sita Sings the Blues

Delightful film that tells the epic story of Rama and Sita juxtaposed against the director's autobiographical tale of romantic difficulty. The highlight of this film is the trio of Indian narrators who repeatedly mix up the details when they're not busy forgetting them all together. This leads to a great deal of comedic arguments underscored by the animation which quickly changes to adapt to the narrators ever changing story. The main problem I have with this film is that the excessive amount of musical numbers which bring the action to a screeching halt. Even more infuriating is the completely unnecessary intermission which eats up three minutes of screen time. An eighty-two minute film does not need an intermission! Fortunately, you can watch the film for free, either online or by downloading it, both ways will afford you the opportunity to fast forward through anything you find boring.

Institute Benjamenta, or This Dream People Call Human Life

I'm not going to pretend like I understood this rare feature-length film from the Brothers Quay. It was a long day and this was my fifth film so I had a hard time concentrating on what was happening. But I can say, without reservation, that this film looks beautiful.

Philadelphia Film Festival & Cinefest '09: Day 8

2009-04-02T23:52:00.006-04:00

Old Partner

This Korean documentary tells the story of a 79 year-old farmer and his 40 year-old ox. They're both old, skinny, and nearly broken from a lifetime of hard labor. Watching what the ox is forced to endure makes you want to declare it animal abuse but the fact is that his master is working just as hard to survive. The farmer's wife may or may not be working as hard as the other two but one thing is for sure, she complains enough for the three of them. This movie has a lot of heart and a lot of humor.

The King of Ping Pong

Two middle school(ish) aged brothers are forced to confront some of the harsh realities of growing up in this quirky Swedish film. It's mostly about the rivalry between the older, overweight brother and the younger, handsome one and how it comes to a head when a family secret is revealed. I wouldn't say that I totally loved this one but the characters are very well drawn and the plot takes you down some unexpected turns. Those are two things that I really appreciate in a film.

Number One With A Bullet

This documentary about gun-violence and its relationship to hip-hop culture does a good job of raising issues and moderating the debate but aside from some thoughtful interviews with rappers it doesn't really bring anything new to the conversation. It's sort of a like a "Violence in Rap for Dummies", a great place to go if you don't know a lot about the subject but something you can probably skip if you're more well versed. Also, it suffers from not covering these issues as well as the film I saw next . . .

Heart of Stone

I walked into this basically expecting to see Lean on Me: The Documentary with the big difference being that it took place in Newark, NJ instead of Patterson, NJ. But principal Ron Stone of Weequahic High School isn't the no-nonsense, strict disciplinarian I was expecting. The tactics he employs mirror our strategy in Iraq, which probably tells you how bad things have gotten in our schools. Principal Stone works with the students who head up the local chapters of the Crips and the Bloods to keep the peace between the gangs. His strategy is not to keep kids out of gangs but to teach gang members how to resolve conflicts nonviolently. It's a shocking approach but one that acknowledges the reality on the ground. Stone even goes to the gang leaders when one of their members is having trouble in school. This leads to a comical scene where where the leader of the Bloods lectures one of his gang members about what he needs to do to graduate on time. He sounds more like the kids father than his crime boss. Another interesting thing that sets this documentary apart is the depth it goes into about the history of Newark and how it's changed over time. Weequahic used to be the number one high school in the nation in a largely Jewish neighborhood (one of it's many successful alumni is Phillip Roth). Many of the former students who attended Weequahic during the civil rights movement felt that there was a natural bond between the children of Holocaust survivors and their African-American classmates. Later, the Weequahic Alumni Association was founded as a way for the doctors, lawyers and other professional who graduated in the past to try to give a younger generation access to the opportunities that they had. It's a fascinating story and this film does a wonderful job telling it.

Zift

The title for this Bulgarian film comes from a substance that serves as a chewing tobacco/road filler and is used as a slang term for shit. The festival guide describes it as "a well-crafted thriller that uniquely combines elements of both neo-noir and Soviet pseudo-socialist art" and that's a better summary than I could give you. While it's a very watchable film, I'm not sure it succeeds at everything it attempts (and this is an ambitious film so it attempts a lot). The noirish plot will keep you guessing until the end but part of the reason is that it doesn't totally make sense. Fortunately, the film has the good sense to rebel against its ponderous mix of genres and include a sense of humor about itself. There are a surprising number of laughs in what could have been a very dour film.

Philadelphia Film Festival & Cinefest '09: Day 7

2009-04-01T23:53:00.000-04:00

The Magic Hour

Delightful (but overlong) Japanese comedy about an actor hired to impersonate a legendary assassin but only told that he's filming an improvised movie. Needless to say, hijinks ensue. It has a lot of smart gags and a true love of cinema. Oh, and the ending is effing amazing.

Don't Look Down

I'd say that this Argentinian movie was about 35% sex and 60% mystic mumbo jumbo about sex. I've seen pornos with more intricate plots and deeper character development. I will attempt to quote two lines of dialogue from a conversation late in the film (I'm doing this from memory so they're not going to be completely accurate):

I know this is going to sound crazy but when we're having sex I am transported to other cites!

What, she has a hallucinogenic twat?

Oh, and in case you're wondering, the remaining 5% involved sleepwalking, a witch, and walking on stilts.

Food, Inc.

This may come as a shock to you but highly processed foods are unhealthy and businesses care about making money, not what's good for you. This is a well-made documentary but it's not exactly breaking any new ground. The whole time I was watching this I kept thinking of the scene in Fast Food Nation where Bruce Willis admits to Greg Kinnear that the beef has been contaminated by shit and then takes a big bite out of a juicy burger. But they were giving away books at this screening so I at least got to walk away with a copy of "Eat Safe" and "Skinny Bitch" so that's a plus . . . I guess.

GS Wonderland

Fun but ultimately unfulfilling movie about a Japanese Group Sound (GS) band in the late 60s. It has some of the charm of That Thing You Do! and genuine laughs but the film never fully delivers on the promise of its premise.

Mississippi Damned

This multi-family drama deals with the legacy of abuse and attempts to break free from a damaging cycle. In stark contrast to some other films I've seen this year that stretch thin plots to the breaking point, this movie suffers from a epic story that feels a little cramped in the 120-minute running time. This film has so much to say and so much ground to cover that I almost think the story would be better served by a miniseries or TV show. I think part of the problem is that it's a semi-autobiographical picture and the author wanted to put every defining moment from her childhood into it. Of coarse, when all is said and done, I'd much prefer a film with too much story than too little.

Philadelphia Film Festival & Cinefest '09: Day 6

2009-03-31T23:56:00.007-04:00

4bia

This ended up being a light day because I had class and could only get in three screenings. First up, a Thai horror film divided into four (mostly) unrelated segments:

Happiness - I was very impressed with how this segment kept ratcheting up the tension with hardly any special effects. The story is about a pretty girl who begins receiving texts from a mysterious admirer while she's stuck at home with a broken leg. The director does a masterful job of creating fear out of nothing more than shots of a phone display and the general tone. I was upset that it only lasted half an hour.

Tit for Tat - A rapid editing style that would give Michael Bay a headache definitely distracted from what would've been a pretty decent story about revenge gone wrong. I mean, it had black magic, cute Asians in schoolgirl outfits, and an increasingly ridiculous series of deaths. It should have been right up my alley!

The Middle - This ghost story about four boys who go camping/whitewater rafting together is by far the goofiest of the segments. It also verges on being annoyingly self aware. The boys keep relating to their situation by mentioning other horror films in a good gag that gets run into the ground.

Last Fright - Decent segment about a cat fight at 30,000 feet between a stewardess and a princess after the princess discovers that the stewardess had a fling with her prince. But things really get going on the return flight when the stewardess is forced to watch over the corpse of the princess after the princess dies of complications from the first flight. The whole thing is a little ridiculous but they pull it off well enough.

Boy Interrupted

Great but tragic documentary about a boy who suffered from bipolar disorder and ended up taking his life at fifteen. The film offers an intimate look into how his family dealt with the disease and how the family dynamic changed over time. It's really heartbreaking to watch a great kid head down such a dark path. His loved ones do everything they can to change his trajectory but ultimately they're helpless to stop him from destroying himself. The boy's therapist gets to the heart of the issue when he says that bipolar is his profession's cancer, it kills people.

Able

The forward to this film informs us that the zombie epidemic begins as a paralyzing disease and then, after three days, the victim turns into a brain-loving undead monster. And that today is the third day. So it's zombie time, right? Wrong. The zombies don't show up for seventy-one minutes. This film is seventy-two minutes long. What happens for the first hour and eleven minutes you ask? Nothing.

At least it was preceded by a decent short, the French-Canadian Next Floor. It's about a a ravenous group of diners who dress like they're attending a formal 19th century dinner and proceed to gorge themselves on a meat feast until their combined weight sends them crashing through the floor. Then the process begins all over again. It's a stylish and beautiful looking short, I'd like to see what the filmmakers could do with a feature and some money.

Philadelphia Film Festival & Cinefest '09: Day 5

2009-03-30T23:52:00.007-04:00

For My Father

Thanks to Corey, for the first time I had company for the whole day! We started off the day with this compelling Israeli drama about a Palestinian terrorist who is forced to spend a weekend in Tel Aviv after the button he planned to use to detonate himself failed. He ends up forming relationships with the electronics store owner who replaces his device and the beautiful shopkeeper across the street (both Jews). I'd just been reading about a recent study that found that people were more likely to become terrorists for social reasons rather than religious ones, so I was pleased to see that the lead was portrayed as someone driven to this act by issues having to do with his father's honor not religious doctrine. This is a challenging film that doesn't shy away from tough questions or give easy answers.

Art & Copy

This documentary made me not hate advertisers. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I mean, Nike has had some really inspiring ads for an evil corporation. But I think the most important thing I got out of film is a respect for advertising as an art. And that's something that's easy to miss when you're constantly bombarded with advertisements, especially when the vast majority of them are terrible.

Kisses

Two children run way from home one night and find themselves on a dark adventure in this Irish fairytail. The director gets wonderful performances out of the two young leads who highlight the first awkward steps into adulthood. They're kids who've had to grow up too fast but still haven't left childhood behind. The film begins in black and white but the farther the children get from home the more color is introduced into the pallette. In a way this story is a reflection of The Wizard of Oz. Only in this case it's the real world that is a more fantastic, and far scarier, place than home.

Goodbye Solo

This is the movie that so many independent films strive to be only to come up short. It's from a director who really caught my eye last year and who I hope has a long and industrious career. The plot involves a Senegalese cabbie in Winston-Salem, North Carolina who figures out that one of his passengers plans on killing himself and tries to involve himself in that man's life. But this isn't a film about plot, it's about the characters. So many characters in films are artificial, they don't look like real people, they don't talk like real people, and they don't act like real people. But Ramin Bahrani has found a way to humanity, in all its pathos, humor and messiness, onto the screen and for that I am grateful.

20th Century Boys

What I'm told is a very popular manga is turned into a mediocre movie in this litterary adaptation. As far as I can tell the central premis is that group of boys came up with a story about a supervillian and some kid they wouldn't let play with them decided to become that villian. So basicaly, some guys spends his entire life enacting a plan thoguht up by twelve-year olds, incluging the giant robot that terrorizes Tokyo. It's all very silly but it's mostly played straight. I had originally plannes on watching the second installment of this three-part series later in the festival but I think I'm just going to put 2 and 3 in my Netflix cueue and try to find something more worthwhile in that timeslot.

Philadelphia Film Festival & Cinefest '09: Day 4

2009-03-29T23:55:00.008-04:00

Saving Grace B. Jones

Sucked.

Sun Dogs

Because Sucking Grace B. Jones started late, I had to watch this as a last minute replacement for The Nail: The Story of Joey Nardone. It's a somewhat compelling drama about people trying to find their way into adulthood set against a post-Katrina New Orleans. The characters have their own quirks but everything here falls into well-worn Indie territory.

Pressure Cooker

This documentary falls into the teacher-pushes-students-really-hard-to-achieve category but spices things up by including the inner-city-kids-learn-something-high-brow-that-you-wouldn't-expect genre for good measure. It's a fun and uplifting look at a culinary arts instructor from a high school in Northeast Philadelphia. Her tough talk and no-nonsense attitude leads all of her students to the finals in a cooking competition where they can win scholarships. She's basically the mother of every black stand-up comedian (if you don't stop crying she will give you something to cry about). This movie has everything: a sassy authority figure, students triumphing over adversity and a prom scene!

…Even Jesus Had an Accountant

Four diverse short films:

Character Study - Good-looking animated film but it was so brief that it ended before I really figured out what was going on.

Free the River Park: The Story of Citizens' Fight for the Schuylkill River Park - This documentary deals with residents' struggle against a train company to allow access to a park. There are two things you need to know about this conflict. One, it was completely wrong for the train company to block access. Two, this subject is really boring. I give the filmmakers credit for making a half-way interesting movie about it but, come on, I use this crossing a couple times a week and I don't give a crap.

The Last Duel - Very funny comedy that, without dialogue, tells the story of a duel that went so awry it lead to the outlaw of dueling.

Poet of Poverty - Fascinating documentary based on the letters of Camden's Father Doyle as read by Martin Sheen. It presents a heart-breaking look at a community stricken by poverty and crime which is where the rest of the county literally sends it's garbage and sewage. Father Doyle has been fighting the good fight for over forty years and while he has only seen Camden get worse in that time he still hasn't lost faith.

Not Quit Hollywood

I had no idea that Australia had a thriving exploitation film industry in the 60s and 70s (I just assumed Mad Max was a fluke) but now I'm really excited that a whole new sub-genre has been opened up to me. This documentary explores some truly awesome-looking Ozploitation flicks and, although it might just be a glorified clip reel with some talking head interviews thrown in, the editing is wonderful. One novel thing I think the filmmakers did was give a lot of screen time to a film critic who absolutely detests these movies. It's a great way to cut the unabashed praise given by comentaters like Quentin Tarantino and fitting with the modest B-movie ambitions of the subject. Anyway, I can't wait to sink my teeth into Mad Dog Morgan, The Naked Bunyip, Turkey Shoot and Howling III: The Marsupials.

Philadelphia Film Festival & Cinefest '09: Day 3

2009-03-28T23:58:00.007-04:00

Hunger

Okay, so I overslept and missed the first half-hour of this (no more partying during the festival) so I can't give it a proper review but I will say that I had a favorable reaction to it. This film chronicles the treatment of Bobby Sands and other IRA inmates held at Maze Prison in the early 80s. The prisoners went on a hunger strike to protest their cruel treatment that caused Sands and nine others to starve to death. It's a tragic story that illustrates how there are no winners when terrorism is employed to protest colonialism.

Children of Invention

A struggling mother gets caught up in a multilevel marketing scheme while trying to provide for her children in this film sponsored by the Philadelphia Asian American Film Festival. When the mom is arrested the two young kids are forced to fend for themselves and take a remarkable journey from the suburbs into Boston so they can withdraw birthday money from a bank account and start a business selling inventions. Despite the incredible nature of this story the director manages to keep things grounded. The film is described as semi-autobiographical and that really comes out in the naturalistic tone. It's a down to earth look at a family on the fringe of society struggling to get by.

This movie was proceeded by The Moth and the Firefly, a short film about a moth that is drawn to a firefly during a blackout. It wasn't that interesting.

Herb and Dorothy

This documentary tells the amazing story of Herb and Dorothy Vogel who managed to amass one of the world's best collections of minimalist and conceptual art on their middle-class salaries. In the early 60s they realized that Dorothy made enough as a Librarian to support a modest life for the two of them in their rent-controlled New York Apartment. This freed up Herb's salary from the Post Office to be used to acquire art. Over the course of thirty years the couple used their keen eyes to gather over 4,000 pieces in a collection that was conservativly estimated to be worth millions, which they stored in their one bedroom apartment. Eventually, they turned their collection over to the National Gallery (which was only able to handle 1,000 pieces) without asking for anything in return. The gallery did, however, decide to provide them with a small annuity in the event that either of them faced a major health crisis. Herb and Dorothy used this money to begin another collection.

No Boundaries

This film is sort of like a modern-day version of "Romeo and Juliet" set against a backdrop of immigration issues or a non-singing West Side Story. The leads were engaging but there was some truly cringe-worthy dialogue about love and a lot of contrived plotting. But seventeen of the filmmakers showed up to the screening and judging by the cheering for every name in the credits it sounded like 80% of the crowd knew someone involved with it personally, so this might be a shoe in for the audience award.

The Rocky Balboa Picture Show 2 - Rock Treatment

Short programs are always a mixed bag but this one was more consistently good than I'm used to. I'll go through them one by one:

Hair and Diamonds. Episode 9: Shaving - Animation and live-action combine in this dream-like film about a man shaving. Bizarre and sort of wonderful.

Trees - An old-timer tree attempts to pass on knowledge to a young sampling by way of an insane (and hilarious) monologue.

Another Bad Idea - This stop-motion animation follows a man as he attempts to catch a light bulb that appears over his head as he gets an idea. Surreal, amusing and too short to wear out it's welcome.

America's Game - An old-timer human muses wistfully about America's pastime only to discover that baseball players aren't as virtuous as he imagined. Pretty funny but it went on a little too long.

Dead Hooker Theater - Stagehands manipulate dead hookers through a rendition of Tennesse Williams' "The Glass Menagerie". In a word, awesome.

This One Time in Paris - A filmmaker visits the Eiffel Tower and finds one girl sitting alone amidst a sea of lovers but he can't get up the nerve to put down his camera and all he can do is sit and watch while a Frenchman sweeps in to woo the girl. Well, watch and mock. It was pretty cute.

American Terror: Company Man - Adapted from a comic book, this stylish animated short has a stunning energy and visual style.

The Institute of Séance - Delightful spoof of silent horror films.

Clowns Without Borders - About half-way through this film I realized it wasn't a joke.

Amerika Idol - Amazing documentary about a tiny village in Serbia that erects a statue of Rocky Balboa and faces a controversy that mirrors Philly's long conflict regarding the prop created for Rocky III.

Philadelphia Film Festival & Cinefest '09: Day 2

2009-03-27T23:57:00.008-04:00

Landscape No. 2

What begins as a promising Slovenian political thriller is derailed half-way through when the main character, after figuring out that his best friend was murdered because of a document that reveals secrets powerful enough to reignite a civil war, decides to take a holiday with his horny girlfriend. This guy is a complete tool. Later, he gets a lectured for being a dick by a sociopathic murderer and I think we're supposed to take the killers side, or maybe learn a lesson. I don't care. It's so frustrating to see a suspenseful, well-made film devolve into absurdity because of poor plotting.

Rumba

This comedy was created by a trio of French-speaking Belgians, two of which also serve as the leads. I found it fascinating to watch because the leads look more like caricatures than people and they move in ways that seem alien. It's almost like watching a cartoon come to life, especially with the bold color palette. The largely silent nature of the film only adds to the surrealism that makes it impossible to look away from even if some parts drag on a bit long. Though I must admit that I was a little disappointed but only because I had high hopes for this after seeing the trios previous film. Ah, the burden of raised expectations.

Addendum: This screening was preceded by a short film called The Line. It's a somewhat amusing look at women waiting in line for the ladies room where the tension reaches absurd levels (a riot squad is eventually called in). I think it's a particularly notable film because, as far as I'm aware, it features the first on screen glimpse of a urinary director.

Mommy Is at the Hairdresser's

The clear winner for today was this affecting portrait of a broken French-Canadian family trying to make it through the summer of 1966. Told largely through the eyes of three siblings, this film paints a rich canvass of life in the suburbs. It examines how the characters come to grips with a reality that can be at times wonderful and liberating or cold and uncaring. Looking back on it, I'm amazed that they managed to touch on so many issues in such an organic way. If I gave you a list of the topics it covers (infidelity, prejudice, abandonment, homosexuality, tolerance, liberation, emerging sexuality, treatment of the developmentally disabled, etc.) it would just sound like a laundry list of 60s issues but this movie isn't about that. It's about lost people trying to find their way in the world and to me that's far more interesting.

Left Bank

So, this is a horror movie from Danish-speaking Belgium about a giant vagina in the earth. But not the good kind of Vagina. This was an evil vagina. An evil vagina that needs a woman to be sacrificed to it every seven years in order for the ground to be fertile. But it turns out that being eaten by a giant evil vagina, while certainly not good, isn't all that terrible. A quick side note to the budding filmmakers out there: If you're going to make a movie about a giant vagina that eats people, that movie should contain humor.

Philadelphia Film Festival & Cinefest '09: Opening Night

2009-03-26T23:58:00.006-04:00

(500) Days of Summer

Okay, so I haven't updated this blog for eight months. My bad. But it's festival time again and I'm back. If you're interested in what I'm seeing this year, I have provided a link to my festival calendar on the right-hand side of the page and it will remain there for the duration of the festival.

Anyway, on to the Philadelphia Film Festival . . . and Cinefest '09. There's been a lot of rumbling behind the scenes and there may be major changes in the future but so far the festival seems the same as ever. The fest always starts off with a safe bet, a crowd pleaser that already has a distribution deal and (500) Days of Summer (opening in theaters July 17) is no exception. It stars the surprisingly talented Joseph Gordon-Levitt and the absolutley wonderful Zooey Deschanel in an anti-romantic comedy. The leads have great chemestry and the genre allows in the fun of meet-cutes and watching two people fall in love without getting overly sentimental or hookey. The only bad thing I can say about it is that it lacks ambition. It seems like the filmmakers set out to make a nice movie that everybody would enjoy and largely succeded. I doubt this emerge as one of the highlightss of this year's film festival but if you're looking for a good date movie this summer you could (and, most likely, would) do a whole lot worse.

Ocean's Thirteen: I saw this despite missing the first twelve

2008-07-14T09:15:00.000-04:00

Another late post. When I sat down to write this one, my first thought was "I saw Ocean's Thirteen?" Upon further consideration, I realized that I had in fact seen this film and that I'd quite enjoyed it. But the entire experience was very fleeting. It was a pleasant diversion, nothing more.

The parts in Mexico were the best. I think. I don't really remember the other parts.

Robin Hood: The one with the foxiest Maid Marian

2008-07-07T09:15:00.000-04:00

I think Robin Hood is one of the most underrated Disney films. It's not that anybody dislikes it (How could they?), it's just that it tends to get lost in the shuffle. Maybe because it so closely resembles The Jungle Book people mistake it for a rip off.

The most notable thing about this film is its bizarre medieval English setting populated by American Western character actors. Actually, it's a combination of British and Western accents, which makes even less sense than if they all had the same anachronistic accent. Yet, somehow, it works. White-hatted cowboys are our knights in shinning armor. So why not cast the oily salesman from "Green Acres" as the Sheriff of Nottingham?

Okay, now that I've typed that out it does seem a little silly. Best not to think about it too much and just enjoy the show.

And what a show it is! It's got action, adventure, romance, comedy and pathos (Remember that heart-breaking jail scene?). You're not going to find many better examples of the cinema-as-pure-entertainment model than this. It was made back when "family" movies meant enjoyable for people of all ages, not some slop lazily thrown together for undiscriminating toddlers.

The only problem I have with this film is that the ending seems very abrupt. The climax is a daring midnight raid on the royal treasury that culminates in the apparent drowning of Robin Hood. But then our hero emerges from the water and the film cuts to King Richard's return and the restoration of justice to the land. It's not just that it's a complete deus ex machina ending, it's that they skip from John running things to Richard being in power. It seems like there's an important scene missing. Oh well, I guess it's a good idea to wrap things up before you wear out your welcome.

How could I have forgotten to mention the awesome music?

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: It was really more of a city-state

2008-05-28T23:52:00.001-04:00

The real question that Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull poses is not "Will it be disappointing?" but rather "How disappointing will it be?" My answer: Not that disappointing.

Steven Spielberg is a consummate craftsman and his sure hand guides this thrilling throwback (that's thrilling by non-Indy standards, mind you). Although, I'm not sure if it's still a throwback to the adventure serials of the 30s and 40s or if it's been long enough since the last film for this to be a throwback to the Indiana Jones films of the 80s. The film is full of references to the earlier films and it even managed to slip in at least one nod to the Star Wars series (Harrison Ford gets a "bad feeling about this" at one point).

Speaking of Star Wars, I know that plenty of people will tell you that thins movie sucked and blah, blah, blah, but I want to make it clear that is nowhere near as bad as the recent Star Wars movies and that it in no way raped my childhood. I think that's an important distinction to make.

The film deftly handles the update from the 40s to the 50s. The commies are a natural substitute for Nazis and although it took me a little while to get used to the aliens, I appreciate how they went all-out with the b-movie/sci-fi thing. I mean, it's just so 50s.

I also learned an important lesson: Not even the all-star English trio of John Hurt, Jim Broadbent, and Ray Winstone can make up for John Rhys-Davies. Do you think he couldn't make this film because he was busy working on Anaconda 3 . . . or Anaconda 4?

It was nice seeing Karen Allen again but she seemed a little too happy to be working again.

Iron Man: Marvel begins

2008-05-13T11:57:00.001-04:00

Marvel Comics has recently been licensing its properties for products that have been awesome, terrible and everything in between. But then they decided that their characters would be better off kept in the family, so they founded Marvel Studios. And, in a stroke of genius, they handed the reigns over to Jon Favreau for their initial outing, Iron Man. This is a smart, funny, thrilling movie and I think Favreau should get a lot of credit for that. All other credit should be directed toward Robert Downey, Jr.

Iron Man's alter ego, Tony Stark, is the personification of adolescent fantasies. He's a filthy rich (I'm not sure 'billionaire' does him justice) playboy who's obsessed with fast cars, one-night stands with Maxim models, and he makes giant, exploding phallic objects. The guy would be a complete douche bag if he wasn't played with the wit and charm that Downey, Jr. brings to the role. It's a great feeling to watch an actor who tried his darnedest to destroy his life come back to turn in an amazing performance in a huge blockbuster.

Speaking of coming out of nowhere, it was great to see Gwyneth Paltrow return from he baby-imposed exile. The last time I saw her we were only at war with Afghanistan. I forgot what a lovely presence she is. Not physically (though, that's certainly true), I mean she's one of those people who just looks right on screen. When she smiles she makes you smile.

Wow, have I really gone on this long without talking about awesome fight scenes featuring dudes in giant, mechanized suits? Well, this movie's got that too.

Scene after the credits? Best. Thing. Ever.

Juno: You know?

2008-05-07T09:15:00.002-04:00

Okay, so I'm way late on this post. Juno has already won America over with it's quirky charm, overstayed its welcome as that quirkiness has gone from endearing to kinda annoying, and (I think) successfully navigated that backlash. I can see where the haters are coming from but I was completely taken in by this adorable little movie.

In a bold but rather brilliant move, the film starts out with a jarring scene full of nearly indecipherable, made-up slang. The totally-awesome-in-everything-but-this Rainn Wilson stars in a scene that seems designed to make people give up on a movie that's hardly begun. It's almost a challenge, as if the film is saying "If you find this twee then you better just fuck off right now." But then it does something brilliant: It takes things down a notch for the rest of the movie. You start off thinking "Can I take this language for ninety minutes?" but by the second scene you're thinking "Oh good, the whole thing isn't going to be that bad." I know it's gotten a lot of criticism but I really like the stylized, artificial slang. Real slang tends to sound fake when it's not done exactly right and will eventually seem dated but fake slang can't go out of style because it was never used to begin with. Also, it mimics real relationships where every group of friends in some way develops their own language of unique phrases, common references and inside jokes. For a great example of how made-up slang can achieve this, check out Buffy.

I almost find it difficult to believe that this film was the work of Jason Reitman, the son of one of Hollywood's greatest hacks, Ivan Reitman. Look, I know Ghost Busters is, like, the best movie ever but that's largely do to Harold Ramis, Dan Aykroyd, and to a lesser extent Bill Murray. But the other crap Ivan made? Junior? Legal Eagles? Evolution? Fathers' Day? Come on. But I really shouldn't be surprised after his son came on so strong with his freshman effort, Thank You for Smoking.

The kid also knows how to assemble a great cast. I was really impressed with Ellen Page's performance in Hard Candy (one of the most squirm inducing films I've ever seen) and I was glad to see her take another lead in this. It was a stroke of genius to pair the sharp, worldly Page with the sweet, hapless Michael Cera (who might be my new hero). Oh, and Jason Bateman, Allison Janney, J.K. Simmons, and Jennifer Garner all rock.

See, that's how you make a movie.

"Whose idea was it?"

The Philadelphia 48 Hour Film Project: Now featuring 100% more Keith

2008-05-04T09:00:00.004-04:00

The 48 Hour Film Project is a competition where filmmakers are given a genre, a line of dialogue, a prop, a character, and two days to make a film. This year 48 teams participated in the Philadelphia competition and I was lucky enough to be a part of team Psynema. Every team was given the variables of Ira or Irene Livingston the dishwasher, a wrench, and the line "You better double check". Not every team got the same genre but they didn't have as many genres as teams so a lot of groups had the same one. We got Holiday Film. You find out all of this at 7:00 on Friday night and the completed film is due at 7:30 on Sunday night. That gives you one night to write the script, one full day to film and most of a day to do editing/post-production. Since I was just an actor, I only had to work Saturday but most of the team spent the night in the office we filmed in to more or less constantly work on the movie. The final films were screened on Tuesday and Wednesday. Both nights had two shows of about twelve movies each. Our team ended up winning Best Direction (essentially second place) and the Audience Favorite.

Now, to the review. I was only able to make one of the screenings but I was pretty impressed with what I saw. Obviously, our film was my favorite because there's really nothing quite like seeing yourself on a big screen in a venue that seats a few hundred people (even if it's only half full). One of the movies that really impressed me was The Take Out. It's really well done, they made good use of the elements and it's got a nice little twist at the end. Another great one was The World's Dullest Underwater Explorer made entirely by one guy who's gotten to be a regular on the 48 Hour Film circuit. It's a charming musical about an underwater explorer who can't swim. Tip Top Cop might have been the worst movie I saw but it might also be my favorite non-Keith film. It's just so charmingly awful!

The 48 Hour Film Project has a website where they post films that are part of the competition but it doesn't look like they've put up any of the ones I saw yet. When they do, I'll try and put links to the ones I talked about in the above text. But for now, you can check out some of the older ones here.

SEE MY MOVIE!

I know that one isn't actually one hundred percent more than zero but I like the way it sounds.

Gone Baby Gone: My love is gone?

2008-04-27T23:45:00.001-04:00

Okay, I'm beginning my backlog of films. That means I'll be writing about movies I saw a while ago and that I might not remember all that well. So, Gone Baby Gone. This is one of those movies that caught my off guard by how good it is. I was expecting a standard mystery/crime drama but what I got was a nuanced meditation on morality. Maybe if I realized that it was based on a book by the guy who wrote Mystic River I would have been more prepared. Too often films give us good guy and bad guys or have their characters choose between good and evil but this film explores shades of gray. Ultimately, this movie presents us with a moral conundrum where none of the solutions seem like the right thing to do. That's why I liked it so much. It's much more interesting to see people struggle with moral dilemmas when there are no right answers.

I officially like Ben Affleck again.

Film Festival: Closing Night

2008-04-17T22:54:00.003-04:00

Richie Ashburn: A Baseball Life

Calling this documentary fawning would be an understatement. I don't know, maybe there just aren't any warts on this Phillies player turned broadcaster. He sure seemed like a nice guy that everybody liked. The problem is that nice guys who lead good lives generally don't make for the most interesting films. But I did like the part where he went off on a tirade about how much he hated catchers. It was partly insane but totally funny.

Well, that's it. My sixth film festival is over. I saw 49 movies over 13 days, subsisting mainly on granola bars. I know that sounds like a lot but they showed 143 movies at this year's festival (they'll tell you that it's over 260 but that's counting each individual short), so I barely saw a third of what they had to offer. I mean, I missed 94 movies.

Sigh. There just isn't enough time.

Anyway, stay tuned. I have a backlog of films I saw before the fest that I still haven't written about and I plan on updating this site more regularly in the future. Thanks for reading!

Film Festival: Day 12

2008-04-16T23:50:00.000-04:00

Lucky Miles

Purportedly based on a true story (but you can't always trust that), this film tells the story of a ragtag group of refugees trying to find their way through the Australian outback. It begins on a small fishing boat where Indonesian smugglers (at least, I think they were Indonesian) are transporting a group of Iraqis and a group of Cambodians to what they think will be a better life in a Western democracy. The smugglers drop them off on a beach and tell them that a bus will pick them up just over a ridge and then speed off, knowing full well that there isn't even a road near by. Through a series of events that involves the most hapless of the smugglers lighting the boat on fire, one Iraqi, one Cambodian, and one smuggler find themselves on the run from the less than competent Australian National Guard. It's a fun movie and a little touching.

The New Year Parade

This local film tells the story of a family trying to stay together while the father and son prepare for the annual Mummer's Parade. It's a dour look at life in South Philadelphia and although it's done well, I think one of my fellow jurors put it best when she said, "I've seen this movie before, just without the parade."

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer

The title is a bit misleading. A more accurate one would have been Jack Brooks Slays a Monster. It isn't the story of a badass who goes around killing demons. It's a movie about how some dude who's kind of a douche bag learns to put his anger management issues to good use. I would have preferred the former. But hey, if they ever make a sequel, I'm there. After the movie they were randomly handing out copies of the book "The Skin Gods", so I got a free copy if anyone feels the need to read it.

Trailer Park of Terror

The title really says everything you need to know about this redneck horror flick. It's full of gory fun and afterwards I got a free copy of the comic book it's based on (created by some locals). It was a good day for swag. The best part came early in the film when a scorned woman happens upon a mysterious stranger clad in a black cowboy outfit and pissing acid. The man turns around to reveal himself as Trace Adkins and offers to help the woman seek revenge. Yeah, that's right, they got Trace Adkins to play the devil. I think the director nailed it when he said, "The only thing it's missing is good shot of some boobs." Amen, brother.

Film Festival: Day 11

2008-04-15T00:20:00.002-04:00

Empties

This is a lovely little Czech film about a marriage that's running into trouble as the couple reaches old age. The main character (who, and I can't stress this enough, is not played by Sean Connery) is a school teacher who quits his job and finds work in a grocery store paying people for their recyclables. The old man is bit of a flirt and very into matchmaking. Seeing how he flirts with the young ladies and, generally, charms everyone in the grocery store it's perfectly understandable that his wife is depressed that none of those attentions go her way. It's sort of a coming-of-age film for the geriatric set.

Choose Connor

This is a film about seduction, evil, and politics. It follows a precocious kid who comes to the attention of a politician played by Steven Weber. By the by, I think I like Weber more every time I see him. I'm going to officially nominate him for the Most Underrated Actor of His Generation Award. Seriously, how could so much talent have come out of "Wings"? Anyway, this is a great movie that had me on the edge of my seat the whole time. You can tell that Weber is not the great guy he pretends to be (in order to get elected) from the very beginning. But you're never sure if he's just another insincere politician or if he's Mephistopheles himself.

The Last House in the Woods

Definitely the goriest film I've seen this year. The director went so far as to claim that it's the goriest Italian movie ever but I find that hard to believe. I mean, we're talking about the country that Lucio Fulci called home. But this movie doesn't just have the gross-out factor going for it, it's a genuinely creepy film where good and evil are defined in relative terms. Although, I don't totally buy the director's theory that the movie is about a girl who matures into a woman and that all the blood is metaphor for menstruation. I think he just said that to gross us out one last time.

Then She Found Me

Helen Hunt's directorial debut shows competence but the story isn't anything special. It's one of those movies that's too heavy to be a romantic comedy and too light to be a drama. It's just sort of . . . there. Frankly, it's not that interesting to watch Colin Firth try to out nebbish Matthew Broderick for Ms. Hunt's attention. Also, having The Divine Miss M show up as Hunt's long-lost mother/local talk show host seemed a little random.

Toons From the Dark Side

It was a long day and I was getting sick, so it was really tough for me to stay awake through all of these animated shorts. But you know how these things go: some good, some bad.

Film Festival: Day 10

2008-04-13T00:53:00.009-04:00

Behind Forgotten Eyes

War is hell and this is just one more documentary to prove it. During World War II Japan invaded China and Korea and ran into a problem. The Japanese soldiers raped women on such a large scale that venereal disease became a hindrance to combat operations. Let's take a moment to consider just how much rape that is. The Japanese authorities felt that the best way to deal with this issue would be to provide their soldiers with prostitutes, which they could periodically check for disease. This film focuses on the 14 to 25-year-old Korean girls who were forced into prostitution during the war. This is a very serious topic and that's why I was so surprised that they used wildly inappropriate, awful animation to dramatize parts of the story. This was some sub-Hanna-Barbera shit here. The quality was so bad and the subject so serious that the contrast between the two made me feel like I was watching an episode of South Park. Never a good thing when you're trying to cover the atrocities of war.

Son of Rambow

This movie pretty much rules. It's about a very creative (but not terribly bright) kid who teams up with his bully to make a film. The film is set just after the release of First Blood but it took me a while to figure that out. At first I thought the French foreign exchange student was a hipster but it turns out that was just all New Wave-y. The movie that the kids make is truly awesome (think Max Fisher Players, Jr.) and this film manages to get some real drama out of the kids relationships. Keep an eye out for this one.

First Person

"78% of low-income high school students expect to attend college. Fewer than half of them make it. What happens to their dreams along the way?" That's how this documentary begins. It follows six high-school juniors as their plans to attend college slowly slip through their fingers. Although it's a depressing premise, the situation is far from hopeless and you can personally help these kids by going here.

What We Do Is Secret

If you're into the late 70's L.A. punk scene, man, is this the movie for you. On the other hand, if you don't know who Darby Crash is going in, well, this probably isn't for you. I mean it's really well done and Shane West gives a great performance but if it's not your scene, it's not your scene. You know?

Triangle

Another Johnny To film. I think I would've enjoyed this one a lot more if I hadn't been so tired (it was a long day). It was somewhere between a crime thriller and a comedy of errors. It had gangsters and buried treasure. Needless to say, the plot was really complicated and I really wasn't up to following it. Maybe I'll try to see it again sometime.

Film Festival: Day 9

2008-04-12T00:33:00.008-04:00

The Take

I really enjoyed this movie while I was watching it but something the director said afterwards made me appreciate it even more. He mentioned that the film is a throwback to 70's cinema and that made me think about how studios don't really release films for adults anymore. I know it's nothing new to claim that Hollywood markets it's goods to adolescents but it's still good to remind yourself of that every now and then. Before the age of blockbusters "Action" movies would have two or three action sequences in them and then the rest would be filled by, well, story and characters (remember, Bullitt really only has the one car chase). Anyway, that's how this plays out. It has a couple of action sequences and the rest is filled out with suspense, drama, and strong performances from John Leguizamo, Tyrese Gibson, and Rosie Perez.

Chop Shop

This is just a great movie about a brother and sister (both kids) who are trying to make it on their own in the slums of Queens. The director, Ramin Bahrani, made a splash on the festival circuit with his last movie, Man Push Cart, and I expect him to do the same this time around. It's touching, moving, and all that jazz and it doesn't need to resort to swelling music to tug at your heartstrings.

Help Me Eros

Two guys playing pool without any pants while one of their wives gorges on ice cream. A very acrobatic threesome on the roof of a building. A naked fat chick in a bathtub full of eels. A drive-thru convenience store operated by strippers (pole included). Yeah, it didn't make much sense to me either.

Beautiful Loser

Boring. And a little stupid.

Placebo

Finally, a weird movie where all sorts of crazy things happen that totally makes sense at the end! It's a surprising movie about a young man who develops a wild theory that alcohol is a placebo after he fails to get drunk after his first exposure to it at the ripe old age of 26. It's got comedy and a lot of heart but at times it can drag a little. Never the less, it's great to see a local film that has a chance to take off (and by "take off" I mean "get a DVD release"). I wish them luck.

Film Festival: Day 8

2008-04-11T00:44:00.006-04:00

Bad Habits

This is a Mexican film about eating disorders. Actually, it's mostly a movie about people who need to eat more. It centers on a family where the mother, who is clearly anorexic, keeps trying to force her paunchy daughter to loose weight before her first communion. The mother's tactics are abusive and only cause her daughter to gain weight (see, some people eat when they get depressed). Meanwhile, the father decides that he's sick of his skinny bitch wife and starts having an affair with a thick girl who's more fun in bed. At first I thought that was pretty awesome but then I realized his time would probably be better spent getting his psycho wife committed and encouraging his little girl to have a healthy relationship with food. Also, there was a nun who wouldn't eat because that made her see Jesus. That part was a little weird.

The End

This documentary about gangsters from London's East End is directed by the daughter of one of the subjects. It's a really interesting look at the criminal underworld and, although the film examines both the good and bad aspects of these men, it still seems biased in their favor. The men admit to stealing and violence and even imply that they've murdered people but they claim that they only did these things to "bad guys". I doubt that this is true of all their victims but, even so, how were the "bad guys" different from them? Didn't they have families too? There's also a part where the gangsters talk about prison and what they do to child molesters. I know it's nothing new that criminals hate pedophiles (and I mean hate) but I'd be interested to learn a little bit about criminal psychology. To me it seems like gangsters only feel that strongly about child molesters because they're the only ones that somebody who kills for money can look down on. Oh, this movie also includes a section where the guys try to explain cockney rhyming slang. Man, I don't think I'll ever understand how that works.

Epitaph

Before this film even started, I used my lightning-quick reflexes to win a Danger After Dark T-shirt plus two DVDs of movies I saw at previous festivals. The first one is Evil, Greece's first zombie film. I remember it being incredibly violent with a ridiculous amount of blood. The other one, The Living and the Dead, was much more suspenseful and, if I recall, disturbing. Anyway, the film at hand was a ghost story. At least, I expected it to be a ghost story but it wound up being three interlocking ghost stories. This was really confusing for me because the ghosts didn't really have anything to do with each other but the people being terrorized were all connected. It's a really complicated plot that involves many mysteries and I really wish that they'd stuck to one story. I had a lot of trouble following what was going on and telling the characters apart. It's not that I think all Asian people look alike. It's just that I think all Korean people look alike. Oh well, at least there were some good scares. Including a scene where one guy sneaks up behind another guy and yells "Boo!". So simple, yet so effective.

Film Festival: Day 7

2008-04-10T01:34:00.006-04:00

The Art of Travel

This film begins with an excellent premise. Our hero has just graduated from high school and is about to marry his sweetheart after four years of savings themselves for each other. During their wedding he interrupts the ceremony to inform everybody that he has a present for each of them. The crowd reaches under their seats to find envelopes containing a picture of the bride in bed with the groom's brother. Our hero then tells the bride to fuck off, walks out of the ceremony and catches the next available flight out of town. That flight takes him to Managua, Nicaragua where drunken escapades with Dutch co-eds ensue alongside muggings and other clashes with the locals. The movie's a whole lot of fun until the main character decides to go on a dangerous, year-long trek through the jungle. It takes forever and it's not very interesting. Also, the ending is stupid.

Who is KK Downey?

A timely film about an "autobiography" from a made-up author, this film had potential and manages some good laughs but, ultimately, it never quite cohered into something worth watching. It's got the ideas, just not the execution. Speaking of executioners, this movie is playing as part of the Danger After Dark series and I kept expecting the characters to start getting killed. I wasn't so lucky.

Eye in the Sky

This was my fourth Johnny To film and I've got one more coming up later in the festival. The first one was pretty bad ass but I was a little disappointed by the other two. This one, however, was really great. I've come to the conclusion that To is a craftsman and definitely not an artist. His movies are extremely well made but they lack originality. I'm fine with that as long as he can keep me interested in the story and this one had one of my favorite plots. It's about some really smart cops trying to catch a really smart criminal. Specifically, they're surveillance specialists and the film is all about how to watch someone without being noticed and how to become invisible to those trying to track you down. Also, I love that the film begins with a successful heist where one element was slightly off and that seemingly unimportant element eventually leads the cops to their prey. This is the kind of movie they should show in film school to demonstrate how the genre works.

Severed Ways: The Norse Discovery of America

You'd expect a low-budget viking epic to be pretty cheesy and I think that's how this quite, very realistic, character study caught me off guard. It takes place one thousand years ago when two vikings get left behind after a battle with Native Americans (presumably somewhere in Canada). The two men must survive on their own while attempting to make their way back to their fellow countrymen. The film is (mostly) in Old Norse but there's very little conversation between the warriors. At times it gets a little slow and there's one plot element that seemed a little far fetched to me (but hey, I'm no Viking scholar) but, overall, I really enjoyed it.

Film Festival: Day 6

2008-04-09T00:47:00.005-04:00

Dharm

This is a good drama about a Brahman priest who accidentally adopts a baby from outside of his caste and the havoc that raises on him and his community. Eventually the priest realizes that his religion has stupid rules that lead to disharmony in society (about 60 years after Gandhi and 2,400 years after the Buddha). It's a little strange watching this film as an American because we haven't had a formal class system since . . . uh, 1968? Okay, maybe that wasn't that long ago but, still, this movie's probably a lot more socially relevant in it's home country (India, if that wasn't clear). Oh well, I suppose the world can always use another movie about people opening their minds and becoming more tolerant. One of them is bound to do the trick eventually.

Darling

This is a Swedish film about a spoiled, rich bitch who gets her comeuppance when she has to take a job at McDonald's. There she befriends a 61-year-old man who's fallen on hard times after his divorce and she almost learns a valuable lesson from him about how being a good, hardworking person is more important than being hot and owning lots of great outfits. Although the ending was disappointing, I can't say that it wasn't true to life.

The Savage Breast

Shorts programs are always a mixed bag. This one had a bunch of films that revolve around music. Also, a surprising number of them feature breasts. I mean, I know it was in the title and all but I still wasn't really expecting it. One of them started off with some Earth Mother mumbo jumbo and then went on to show artful shots of a naked woman for ten minutes. I think my favorite boobless (55378008?) short was Steve Martin on the Loose. Based on a dream the director had, it features Steve Martin and Mary Steenburgen from Back to the Future Part III attempting to save Steve Martin's twin from drowning. I think.

The Sperm

I think this movie was Thailand's attempt to prove that they can be just as weird as the Japanese. This is a movie about (Ringo, spoiler alert!) a young man who, through a complicated set of circumstances, masturbates on the street causing his sperm to become mutated by exposure to some aliens' malfunctioning ray gun. These mutated sperm grow to giant size (for sperm that's about golf-ball size) and impregnate women on their own. The next day, about four hundred women wake up in the final stage of pregnancy and give birth to babies that have the lead actor's face. I can't express how disturbing that visual is. By the next day the babies are now toddler sized (still with full-grown, matching heads) and unbelievably horny. Apparently, they live only long enough to masturbate, at which point they shrivel up leaving behind only a dried up bag of skin. I can't express to you how much classier this film is than Bad Biology.

Film Festival: Day 5

2008-04-08T01:47:00.007-04:00

Anywhere, USA

This movie was interesting but I think it was supposed to be funny. Oh, and profound. Funny and profound. That would have been nice. One of my fellow jurors pointed out that it was filled with great characters, it's just that the plot didn't give them much to work with. Knowing that this was made by a first-time director does make me very curious to see what he does next, though. Clearly, there's some talent behind the camera and I think it would be really interesting to see how the director grows (or doesn't grow).

Medicine for Melancholy

I'd say that this film falls in the Before Sunrise /Sunset mold. The trouble is (as Colleen always points out) that's a very difficult type of film to pull off. I mean, just two people talking? Especially for another first-time director. I give that guy a lot of credit for only being a little boring. Again, he's another person that I'd like to see mature as his career goes on. It's also nice to be reminded that movies about black people don't have to be completely retarded.

Lovely By Surprise

So far, this film has made me think the most. I would have to see it again before I could really have an opinion on it because it throws an awful lot at you and it's not always clear what's going on. It took me about five minutes to really wrap my head around the ending. And when I saw "wrap my head around" I mean "figure out what questions are left up to the audience's interpretation". Answering those questions will take considerably more work. This is another first-time director (again with the first-time directors!) that I'd like to keep my eye on.

Storm

This was supposed to be like The Matrix but it was more like The Matrix Revolutions meets The Fifth Element. It's about an epic struggle between two poorly defined sides (with no apparent motivation) and the douche bag who must choose between them. Oh, and the titular storm didn't appear to have anything to do with, well, anything. There should have been way more kick-ass fight scenes with the hot Swedish chicks and way less childhood trauma. Emotions are for sissy movies, not movies where girls wear skin-tight leather unitards and kick people in the face.

Film Festival: Day 4

2008-04-07T00:31:00.007-04:00

Summer Scars

Before I even get to this movie, I need to talk about the awesome short that preceded it. You know what? I can't even do it justice. Just take ten minutes of your time to go here, click on "Short Film", then "Nash Edgerton", and then "Spider". Okay, the main event was a solid film about a gang of kids that run into a creepy guy in the woods. Lots of tension and uncomfortable situations follow. Also, a lot of unnecessary religious business. Two of the main characters are named Peter and Paul; and one of them is looking for a dog named Jesus, who doesn't exist (at least, not anymore). None of this appears to be particularly relevant to the themes of the film.

The Matsugane Potshot Affair

This film reeled me in from the very beginning with it's darkly comedy sensibilities. But the problem with black comedies is that they're extremely dry and require an awful lot of attention from the audience to pick up on those elements. So, when this movie got bogged down with a bunch of extraneous action mid-way through I just got bored and stopped paying so much attention. Near the end I thought I was going to fall asleep.

Heavy Metal in Baghdad

Acrassicauda is Iraq's only heavy metal band. They take their name from the black scorpion, which is known to be way more badass than regular scorpions. This documentary follows their story as the band attempts to play shows outside the green zone in Baghdad where mortars and gunfights are a daily occurrence (much of it was filmed in 2006). Eventually, the guys decide that it's too dangerous to remain in their hometown and, one by one, move to Syria where Iraqis are not allowed to work legally. Yeah, things are going great in that part of the world.

Phoebe in Wonderland

Some movies you just know are going to get a theatrical release. I mean, this one's got Felicity Huffman, Bill Pullman, Patricia Clarkson, Campbell Scott, and it stars the littlest Fanning. The movie gets off to a dishonest start by pretending that it's a story about a girl finding herself through theatre but it's really about parents coming to terms with their daughter's mental condition. In that way, it's a very powerful film that deals with issues that we as a society are just now coming to grips with. So, this one's worth checking out.

Confession of Pain

Okay, you know The Departed? Well, that was a remake of a film from Hong Kong called Infernal Affairs and this is made by the same people. It's a movie with an odd structure. It's a murder mystery where you learn who the killer is very early on but you have to wait until the very end to find out why (Answer: It was all part of an elaborate revenge plot). Honestly, the whole thing felt like a really long episode of [insert network detective show here]. I'm sorry, but shit like this should be wrapped up in 45 minutes, sans commercials. But hey, I wasn't a huge fan of Infernal Affairs to begin with.

Film Festival: Day 3

2008-04-06T01:25:00.009-04:00

The Toe Tactic

My day got off to a slow start with this film about a young woman who needed to discover . . . something. I'm not quite sure what, but I do know that she needed the help of five animated dogs that served as a Greek chorus, voiced by David Cross, Eli Wallach, Andrea Martin, and others (oddly enough, it featured H. Jon Benjamin in a rare live-action role). All of this was scored by Yo La Tengo.

In a Dream

Any Philadelphian will recognize Isaiah Zagar's mixed-medium mosaics on South Street and throughout the city but they probably don't know much about the man himself. Fortunately, his son made a wonderful documentary about him (at the bequest of his mother). At least, the project started off as a portrait of his father as an artist but it ended up becoming an examination of a difficult time in his parents marriage. One member of the audience described this film as the bravest thing she'd ever seen any family do and I have to agree. It's a brutally honest film about imperfect people who have to come to terms with their self-inflicted wounds. If you ever get the chance, you should see it.

Bad Biology

The director said it shouldn't have been made. This movie is so indecent that I don't think I should even try to summarize it. Hell, that mutant baby pictured above only scratches the surface of this film's depravity. I loved it!

The Visitor

This is the type of movie that is almost made Oscar nominated. It's a moving portrait about how people's lives can altered by chance encounters and then torn apart by an unfeeling bureaucracy. It's full of really strong performances and it even deals with a current social issue (immigration policy in post-9/11 America) by focusing on how it affects individuals on a personal level. You should catch it when it's at the Ritz. And it will, undoubtedly, play at the Ritz.

Stuck

Inspired by the horrifying real-life events of a woman who hit a homeless man with her car and then parked in her garage with the victim still embedded in the windshield, alive and pleading for help, this film packs a powerful punch. The main character's refusal to assist a dying man or even acknowledge her responsibility for the situation is chilling. That being said, this is also a movie from the man who brought you Re-Animator, so it's got a few laughs. It's a really smart film and in many ways it's the opposite of a standard horror film. In this movie the unstoppable foe who continues to come back from the dead is the innocent victim while the horny co-eds are the merciless villains.

Film Festival: Day 2

2008-04-05T00:10:00.006-04:00

Pistoleros

This movie presents itself as a modern-day, Danish spaghetti western in the Sergio Leone model but it's really just another Tarantino knock-off with a ludicrously convoluted plot. The entire story hinges on the fact that a criminal would stash a large amount of loot and then force his closest friends to get tattoos offering clues as to the location. Why would he do this? He knows where the money is. He hid it. Was he afraid that he's forget where he put his fortune? It's almost like he was daring people to try and steal his money. Also, one of the buddies that he forced tattoos on was a stripper. Right, 'cause nobody would ever get a good look at that one. Maybe he was hoping that everybody would just be too distracted by her tits.

Baghead

I love seeing movies when I don't know a thing about them. This one started off in a super-meta way by showing an independent film being screened as part of a film festival. Then it transitioned into a thoughtful character study about four friends in L.A. Next, things got back to being all meta when the friends decide to spend the weekend in cabin writing a screenplay that will feature all of them as actors. Then, suddenly, things took a dramatic turn as all the elements of a good horror film emerged. This movie kept me guessing about it's nature the entire way through and I loved every minute of it. Also, the characters are so well drawn that everything they do has a ring of truth to it and that makes this such a strong film. So far, it's my favorite film of the festival.

Mirageman

This Chilean film about a do-it-yourself superhero had a lot of neat fight scenes and a few good laughs but, overall, it lacked focus. Sometimes movies try to take on too much and they just end up being muddled. Also, the whole thing just seemed a little lackluster.

Film Festival: Opening Night

2008-04-04T15:24:00.001-04:00

Young@Heart

A documentary about wicked old people who sing James Brown and Sonic Youth songs? Sounds a little too quirky doesn't it? Well, that's what I thought (and it totally was) but this movie is too feel-good to hate. I went through several stages while watching this film. From "this is too cutesy" to "okay, old people singing really is funny" to "I'm really starting to care about these people" and by the end I was at the "I can't believe I'm actually being moved by this". Charming old people, you've warmed my heart of stone and I can't wait for the rest of the festival!

And now, I must rush off to a swanky party with an open bar. Life is sweet my friends, life is sweet.

Addendum: A couple of the wicked old people were at the swanky party . . . on the dance floor. So cool.

The Rape of the Vampire: Not as pleasant as it sounds

2008-01-16T21:53:00.000-05:00

I saw The Rape of the Vampire.

Usually pretentious vampire movies are right up my alley.

This time? Not so much.

That's how the movie made me feel.

Blood Diamond: These guys go through a lot of trouble for a rock

2008-01-15T20:51:00.000-05:00

Blood Diamond is a solid film with a bit of an identity crisis. It's not sure if it wants to be a sincere message movie about the perils of conflict diamonds or an action movie about a man fighting for his family. To it's credit, the film delivers competently on both fronts but I felt like it could have been more successful if it choose one aspect and stuck to it. However, I am torn on this issue.

In principal, I really like the idea of using the standard action-movie format to create a blockbuster that deals with relevant sociopolitical issues. I guess there's a fine line between brilliantly subverting a genre by challenging the viewers to examining global injustice and making an action movie that's a little preachy. This film almost makes it into the first category.

Nothing good ever happens in the third world.

The Little Shop of Horrors: Without the singing

2008-01-14T23:57:00.000-05:00

Roger Corman famously filmed The Little Shop of Horrors in only two days. At least, he completed principal photography in two days (there were some reshoots) but why quibble about details?

It's amazing that a feature film could be completed in that amount of time and nothing short of a miracle that the finished product is such a delightful little gem. Don't get me wrong, it's still a cheaply made B picture but it's surprisingly charming. It has so much character, so many inventive ideas and so much quirk that it practically begs to be turned into a musical with a proper budget.

Aside from the obvious man-eating plant, there's plenty of other weirdness going on here. All of the characters are so over the top that they shoot straight past "broadly drawn" on their way to some form of Kabuki-comedy. Mr. Mushnik is Jewier than fucking Tevye, Audrey speaks with an inhumanly high voice, and Dr. Phoebus Farb and Wilbur Force are a match made in somewhere I never want to visit. Basically, it's an insane little film with a shoestring budget.

And that's how I like my movies.

Why yes, that is an impossibly young Jack Nicholson.

Capturing the Friedmans: Ambiguity unbound

2008-01-13T01:21:00.000-05:00

I think that great documentarians pick challenging subjects and aren't afraid of exploring the uncomfortable territory they lead to. And Capturing the Friedmans is filled to the brim with uncomfortable territory. It tells the story of Arnold Friedman who pleaded guilty to sexually
abusing and sodomizing the children that took his computer classes.

This case is especially complicated because the police failed to uncover any physical evidence and used questionable methods while interrogating the children. On the other hand, Arnold had a decent sized stack of kiddie porn hidden behind his piano and he admitted to molesting a minor on a previous occasion. It's quite possible that he is a pedophile who was wrongly convicted of child molestation.

The film consists almost entirely of gray areas and neither the Friedman family nor the police/prosecutors come off as very credible. The director, Andrew Jarecki, gives both sides enough rope to hang themselves. That the facts of what actually occurred remain so illusive is especially surprising considering that Arnold's son (and professional clown), David, made extensive recordings of the family as it went through this crisis. These home movies contain footage of incredibly personal moments of the family discussing the case, their legal options, the turmoil they're all going through and, most disturbingly, them just goofing around and having a good time.

It would have been easy for Jarecki to pick a side and make a film about how Arnold sexually abused entire classes of children or how a community fell victim to paranoia and began a witch-hunt that resulted with an innocent man in prison. But the director chose a more difficult path by presenting all of the confusing and contradictory evidence, trusting the audience to find their own answers to this mystery . . . or not, in my case.

So, who's the black sheep of the family? The admitted child molester or the professional clown?

Knocked Up: It's like Funny and Awesome had a baby

2007-10-24T22:19:00.000-04:00

With Knocked Up Judd Apatow continues his frightening, almost Pixar-like, string of unmitigated successes. I'd really like to go deeper than that but, to be honest, I saw this movie a while ago and now I'm having trouble remembering it well enough to do it justice. Can I just say that it rules?

I am now convinced that Harold Ramis is the biological father of Seth Rogen.

Mr. Woodcock: Since both "wood" AND "cock" mean penis it's doubly funny!

2007-10-23T23:26:00.000-04:00

The main problem with studios creating films is that they tend to be made by committee (I know, you're all impressed by my original insight). This results in movies that try to be everything to everybody but end up as generic works with no clear vision. I can handle a film with terribly misguided vision but one that just wanders from scene to scene with no apparent purpose? That's the worst. I just sit there thinking "Why was this made? There is no reason for this movie to exist. It's just taking up space."

As you've probably guessed, Mr. Woodcock is one such film. There's nothing particularly awful about it, it just seems completely unnecessary. Part of that is that is has no focus. This is the kind of movie that introduces a romantic interest for the lead (Got to draw in the females aged 18-49!) only to get distracted and forget about her.

Other than that? Uh, I like Amy Poehler and Ethan Suplee. I mean, in general. Not so much in this.

Watching this film reminded me that Susan Sarandon is still really attractive. Am I developing a thing for cougars?

The Brave One: Jodi's got a gun, everybody is on the run

2007-10-22T23:12:00.000-04:00

Here's something that I find really disconcerting when I see a film in a theater: The main character will perform an act of vengeance that is completely indefensible and then the audience cheers. Now, I don't mean a crappy action film or some other comic-book-come-to-life movie where the characters are cardboard and no one's meant to take their actions seriously. I'm talking a serious film where the lead makes a choice to end someone's life in cold blood at the expense of their soul.

It's a scenario that the filmmakers have clearly created to comment on how violence begets more violence and the only way to break the cycle is to abandon your quest for revenge and learn to cope with your grief in a more constructive way. When the protagonist chooses to kill, not only do they perpetuate this chain of suffering, but they themselves are forever changed. Murder is not something you can commit without sacrificing part of your humanity.

This is a bad thing. A very bad thing. It should not be applauded. Yet, it seems that every time I see it happen the crowd gives an enthusiastic response. I find myself filled with outrage that the audience could be so callous and that they could so completely miss the point of the film.

I don't know, maybe I'm taking things too seriously. Perhaps I should get off my high horse and talk about the picture at hand, The Brave One (Warning: Spoiler Alert).

This is an incredibly well-made film that I absolutely hated. I don't have a whole lot to say other than that I spent the whole movie fuming that my fellow moviegoers "just didn't get what this film is about" while they "inappropriately cheered on a demented killer" only to discover at the very end that I was the one who didn't understand. Apparently, Neil Jordan is totally for vigilantism . . . and not a huge fan of the rule of law. So, I guess I'm the asshole.

Oh, and I know that Jodie Foster is almost 45 and probably not that into penises but she is still smoking hot. As is the dangerously-close-to-my-mother's-age Mary Steenburgen, for that matter. Say, let's see what we can do about getting these two ladies together.

"I am dark, and you are light."
"You are blind as a bat, and I have sight!
Side by side, you are my amigo, Negro, let's not fiiiiiiiight!"

Woman in the Dunes: Dunes in the Woman

2007-10-21T23:56:00.000-04:00

Sometimes a movie really catches me off guard and Woman in the Dunes did just that. It's another one that I got from Roger Ebert's Great Movies and I actually thought it was an Antonioni film. So, I was surprised to discover that, instead of a dour Italian movie with subtext about Architecture that I'd never understand, I had rented a Japanese film directed by someone I'd never heard of.

The movie begins with a young man who travels from the city to the shore in order to study insects. He then falls asleep on the beach as the lazy day drags on and ends up missing the last bus back to Tokyo. When he wakes up one of the locals offers to show him to a home where he can spend the night. The young man follows him down a rope ladder where he meets the woman who will host him for the night. The woman is attractive but she seems overly shy, as if she were frightened of something.

At this point the film gradually turns into a nightmare scenario for the young man who soon discovers that the ladder has disappeared and that he is trapped in a pit. He tries to climb out but the walls are made of sand that quickly gives way under his feet. And to make matters worse the pit is slowly collapsing on itself. The young man and the woman must work for hours each day to collect the sand that falls on them so that the other villagers can remove it using a device that functions like the barrel in a well.

This fantastic scenario is used to meditate on issues of freedom, responsibility and justice. I'm not sure that I agree with the filmmakers points (or even, that I have properly understood them) but this movie certainly forces you to confront them head-on seems capable of causing great debate. I'd recommend seeing it with someone who has a sharp mind. I wish I did.

Sure, that looks hot but think of all the places that sand is getting into while they're at it.

The Hottest State: Is love or maybe hate, wait-no, it's Texas

2007-09-12T23:49:00.001-04:00

Ethan Hawke, apparently, wrote a book. He then adapted said book into a screenplay and directed it while also taking a minor, but significant, role for himself. The result is The Hottest State, a solid film which delves into some pretty well-worn territory without really bringing anything new.

The movie begins on a promising note when a Texas girl decides to get it on with a guy in the back of a car after hearing him tell a version of the "God Damn Fish" joke. The result of their coupling is a suspiciously Ethan Hawkeish young man played by Mark Webber. He eventually meets Catalina Sandino Moreno (the chick from Maria Full of Grace) and what follows is a lot of joy and a lot of sorrow for the two of them.

It's basically a "Life of an Affair" film that gets hijacked at the very end by a "Finding Yourself" film (yeah, I thought that was weird too). It's well acted and provides some charming moments of young love tempered by painfully awkward and occasionally hostile scenes to keep things interesting. I feel like Hawke has proven himself as a competent director with this movie but he needs a more inspired script to really shine.

Love hurts. Hey, somebody should write a song about that.

The Chronicles of Narnia - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe: Aslan, king of the whose?

2007-09-11T23:59:00.000-04:00

Watching The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe was an odd experience for me. I read the book back when I was in elementary school or, if I recall correctly, my father read it to my sister and I (but I read the rest of the series all by myself!) and I didn't remember much about it. In fact, near the end of the film, I began wondering if the White Witch would be defeated at the end of this movie and, if so, who was the antagonist for the rest of the books? It wasn't until this film was in production that I was introduced to the idea that Aslan=Jesus. Funny, how things that seem so obvious now can go completely over an eight-year-old's head.

This brings me to another thing that I had absolutely no memory of: Santa Claus. Really? The Narnianinians (or whatever you call them) celebrate Christmas? Christmas? The Mass that celebrates Christ's birth? That only works if Aslan totally and completely is Jesus. As in Aslan, lion-god of Narnia, is the word of God, Elohim, made flesh and sent to Second Temple era Jerusalem to be crucified for man's sins. Based on the fact that the Narnianites refer to the humans as "sons of Adam" and "daughters of eve" I think that's what C. S. Lewis is getting at. Well, that and my foggy recollections of the big reveal at the end of "The Last Battle". I guess I should really just read the series again.

As for the film itself, it's a serviceable adaptation but it never really astonishes. The CGI effects are well-done but not excellent, the actors are good to pretty-good but not exceptional, and the big battle scene is impressive but not epic. I couldn't really point out anything that's wrong with it, it's just that there wasn't anything that the filmmakers really nailed either. The real problem with this adaptation is that it makes Lewis's magnum opus look like a second-rate Lord of the Rings.

Are you a good witch or a, uh . . . nevermind.

Head: Hey, hey we're waiting to be taken seriously by people who do lots of drugs

2007-09-10T23:58:00.000-04:00

I'm certainly no expert on the subject but as near as I can tell The Monkees were created as a spoof of The Beatles, only once they were assembled the group decided that they actually wanted to be The Beatles. It was this tension which was the undoing of their TV show's second season (at least, that's what it sounds like here) and what motivated the pre-fab four to deconstruct their mythos in the film Head. This movie features Annette Funicello and Frank Zappa which, I think, says everything you need to know about what it tries to achieve. And why it fails.

The film has a circular structure but no plot that I could identify. There seemed to be a theme that involved subverting each of the Monkees studio-defined images (in real life Peter Tork is not, in fact, retarded) but it was a little hard to make out. The whole thing is very psychedelic. And by psychedelic, I mean drug-influenced, somewhat juvenile, boarder-line incoherent and still kinda compelling. Or, at least, interesting in it's uniqueness.

Even if Head is more or less a complete fiasco, it sill has a prominent (or, at least, unique) place in film history. It was directed by Bob Rafelson, written by Jack Nicholson and Rafelson, and produced by Bert Schneider, Nicholson and Rafelson. The next year Nicholson and Schneider went on to do Easy Rider and after that all three of them were involved in the creation of Five Easy Pieces. These men, like the phoenix, rose from the ashes of an ill-conceived musical to begin a decade of challenging, revolutionary films. Also, Dennis Hopper was hanging around the set (he can be seen in the background, briefly, along with Rafelson and Nicholson) so you know he was mixed up in this whole thing, even if he doesn't have any official credits.

The choreography for this film was done by Toni Basil which begs the question: Did she find Micky Dolenz to be so fine?

The Most Beautiful: By beautiful, we mean efficient

2007-09-09T22:51:00.000-04:00

Akira Kurosawa may be the greatest director of all-time but everyone has to start somewhere. For Kurosawa that was Judo Saga. Unfortunately, Netflix doesn't have that so I had to start with his second directorial outing, The Most Beautiful. It's not very good.

The film is a piece of Japanese wartime propaganda from 1944 (not an especially good year for Imperial Japan). It's about the Japanese equivalents to Rosie the Riveter and it involves a lot of noble suffering while doing one's duty to one's country and concerns about efficiency.

Other than the historical glimpse that the movie offers, the most interesting thing about this was the dreadfully bad subtitles. Clearly, this DVD wasn't made with Western audiences i mind. One special feature offered a Kurosawa bio which noted that the legendary director's "other masterpieces . . . were also frequently awarded in many Film Awards". It also noted the sad story that "at the age of sixty-one, the depressed Kurosawa committed suicide and fortunately was saved". Fortunately indeed, less-than-proficient translator. Fortunately indeed.

This woman's admirable patriotism inspired her to toil long into the night, building something which might have been used to kill your grandfather.

Superbad: More like SuperAWESOME

2007-09-04T23:51:00.000-04:00

When Seth Rogen was 13 years old he began writing a movie with his best friend Evan Goldberg. Naturally, they named this project Superbad. Then they spent approximately half their lives punching up the script and their restless effort really shows. This film is filled with great lines that are really sold by the casual style of the cast lead by Michael Cera which gives the movie a spontaneous, improvised feel.

Cera seems to embody the essence of the movie which takes his fresh-faced innocence and adds vulgar wit. It's truly a marvel when someone can make a film so hilariously raunchy while keeping the core sweet without copping out and getting all cheesy (I'm looking at you, American Pie). It's a delicate balancing act and Superbad pulls it off flawlessly.

It's also a great example of what I'm going to call the "All Night" movie (it's sort of a sub-genre of the Coming of Age film). It's a movie that takes place over a roughly 24-hour period, generally from sunrise to sunrise, where a character or characters begins what seems like a typical day but ends up as a voyage into the unknown of the night. By the time daybreak is upon them they've seen things that challenged their beliefs and they are forever changed by the experience. Great examples of this genre include After Hours, Do the Right Thing, Dazed and Confused, Clerks. and Before Sunrise (yeah, I doubled-up on Linklater. So what?).

Wait, I seem to have gone off on a tangent. Did I mention how funny this movie is? Because it is hilarious (I won't spoil anything for the people who haven't seen it but the best joke is totally not a big deal and affects, like, eight percent of the population). The best part is that the comedy springs forth from the characters naturally. It doesn't feel like set-ups and punch-lines. Most of the laughs come from the characters' organic interactions which makes viewing it feel like you're hanging out with your friends. Or at least, it would if your friends were really good at comedic repartee.

Basically, this movie totally and completely rules.

FunFact: Seth Rogen is very funny.

The Matador: In real life only creepy loners get into the cloak & dagger game

2007-09-03T22:39:00.000-04:00

After a seven-year stint as the world's coolest spy and five years as Remington Steele (who, I was surprised to find out, is not a razor) Pierce Brosnan lets loose in The Matador. Way loose.

Brosnan riffs on his previous spook work by playing an international assassin. Only instead of playing a worldly and debonair man of mystery he plays a washed-up loser who's reduced to getting drunk alone in his hotel room on his birthday because he can't even get his old pals to take his calls.

Eventually, Brosnan meets up with Greg Kinnear in a hotel bar in Mexico and the two make a natural connection. Kinnear is enamored with Brosnan's top secret, jet-setting lifestyle which provides an escapist fantasy for his dull, suburban existence and Brosnan is able to make a rare human connection and indulge his dreams of a stable life and a loving support system of family and friends. Of course, things are never easy for a hit man and Brosnan attempts to enlist Kinnear's help to pull off (you guessed it) one last job.

I've mostly just described the plot but what really struck me about this film was the tone. Unfortunately, that's also the most difficult thing to describe. The Matador treads a fine line between being a thriller and being a satire. I'd describe it as a character study but I think that's sort of a vague phrase and I'm not sure that it helps. I could say that it's a dark film with bits of comic relief but I'm not sure that it isn't a comedy with a seedy undertone. Can I just say that it has a certain . . . I don't know what.

Yes, Pierce Brosnan is wearing cowboy boots in that picture. You're welcome, ladies.

The Lower Depths: It might have been good

2007-08-23T19:19:00.000-04:00

The Lower Depths is a film directed by Renoir. Not the painter, his son. I saw it almost a month ago and I can't remember a thing about it.

Not. A. Thing.

Gay Movies: Spider Lilies

2007-08-22T21:04:00.000-04:00

Spider Lilies is a Taiwanese film (Taiwan: The other China) about an uptight young woman being seduced by a younger free-spirited girl. Maybe uptight isn't the best way to describe a tattoo artist but Takeko is definitely reserved and afraid of making an emotional connection, especially with another girl (why yes, that can be linked back to a traumatic event from her youth). On the other hand, Jade is an engaging high-school girl who has a part-time job as a sex worker on the Internet.

Jade's career as a webcam girl sparks an odd and completely irrelevant sub-plot. The film keeps cutting away from the would-be couple to a woefully inept police officer who is assigned to monitor these sights. His entire job appears to be watching Internet porn and he doesn't seem that good at it. He's more interested in chatting with underage girls than he is with ending their exploitation. This goes nowhere and has nothing to do with anything.

The girls are cute and you want them to get together. Actually, you really want them to hook-up just to see something happen. It's a really slow movie. I'd say that more girl-on-girl action would help but really, when isn't that the case?

On IMDb there's a message board thread called "Any Similar, Better, films?" I think that sums up my feelings on this movie.

Gay Movies: Each Time I Kill

2007-08-19T00:47:00.000-04:00

Seeing Each Time I Kill confused me because the only gay thing about it is a very brief cameo by John Waters (Full disclosure: I don't know that Waters is gay, I just assume). Maybe Doris Wishman, the cult director behind this movie, was a lezzie. I say "was" because the guy who introduced the film told us she had died shortly after filming this and that the editing was done after her death. Looking her up on IMDb, I noticed that she shuffled off this mortal coil in 2002. So they certainly took their sweet time getting this thing together.

The film is about Ellie, an awkward and unfortunate-looking girl, who discovers a magic doodad that allows her to switch one of her physical features with someone else. However, in order to achieve this she must first murder the person whose feature she wishes to steal. She makes a couple of good kills giving herself a great complexion and ridding herself of her frightening buck-teeth but she looses the audience's sympathy when she murders a fellow high-schooler for her hair. I mean, I can understand bumping a couple people off to get glowing skin and a winning smile but slaying someone to get rid of your lady-mullet? Why not try treating yourself to a fancy salon first and only fall back on murder if absolutely necessary? However, I was glad to see that she did refrain from homicide when it came to her tits. She just did some bizarre thing with duct tape to make the twins pop out a little more. Girlfriend's not completely heartless.

Gay Movies: Nina's Heavenly Delights

2007-08-16T23:03:00.000-04:00

Nina's Heavenly Delights is just like Bend It Like Beckham, only with food instead of soccer. And Scotland instead of England. And Parminder Nagra ends up with Keira Knightley.

It might not be great but it's a thoroughly enjoyable trifle.

Before the film started, the director came out and warned us that there weren't any sex scenes and jokingly commented that her film contained "food porn". She was right. A lot of the plot involves Nina teaching a Scottish girl how to make Indian food, and the cooking scenes were hot. Watching two cute girls flirtatiously prepare ethnic food combines too many of my favorite things to ignore. There was also some stuff about a ghost dad, saving the family restaurant, winning a cooking competition, and old flames being rekindled. But, honestly, who cares about that when there's good food and chicks making out?

I bet you're wondering if this film contains a big Bollywood-inspired musical number. But do you really have to ask?

Gay Movies: Love Sick

2007-08-15T19:41:00.000-04:00

If you want to portray a lesbian relationship in a positive light, what should you contrast it with? Love Sick answers with heterosexual incest. I think the director felt that he had to frame his argument in that way because the relationship between the two young Romanian ladies isn't a particularly healthy one. That's not to say that it's an unhealthy relationship. It's just troublesome (read: real).

Alex (the girl on the left in the above picture) is a sweet but shy girl who is seduced by the more outgoing, and out of control, Kiki (the one on the right). From the start we see why these two opposites are attracted to each other. Alex seems inexperienced and ready for a more worldly girl to lead her through her sexual awakening, while Kiki needs a more grounded person to help her work through her family issues (like, the fact that she's sleeping with her brother). The beginning of the film follows their charming courtship that involves a lot of "sleepovers" in Alex's room under the nose of her clueless landlady.

However, the cracks in their relationship are readily apparent and everything goes downhill once Alex decides to go back to her parents' house in the country during the school break. Kiki feels abandoned and begins dropping really strong, really passive-aggressive hints that she wants to go with her. Alex allows Kiki to come along but it is understood that their love affair must be hidden from Alex's old-fashioned parents.

In the country things get off to an awkward start. Then Kiki's brother/former lover shows up in a jealous rage, having been driven by the older woman he's having an affair with.

Things get pretty ugly pretty quick.

Chicks. Can't live with 'em, can't have hot lesbian sex without 'em.

Gay Movies: Rope

2007-08-14T21:06:00.000-04:00

This year I decided to experiment with the 13th Philadelphia International Gay & Lesbian Film Festival (yeah, it ended a while ago but I got a little behind with these posts). I volunteered for advanced ticket sales and box office. This allowed me to see some movies for free and I can use my leftover comps for what the staff and volunteers at this festival kept referring to as "the straight film festival". However, I think it would be more accurately described as "the bi-curious film festival", they've got a little bit of everything.

I started off slow by seeing Rope, an excellent film by Alfred Hitchcock that I'd seen before. I love that it begins with the murder and then all of the suspense is generated from whether or not the two murderers will get away with it. All of the action is confined to one apartment (Hume Cronyn adapted the script from a play) and Hitchcock films it with long takes that are seamlessly connected to give illusion that the entire movie consists of two or three extremely long tracking shots. All of this adds an immediacy with a claustrophobic edge that ratchets up the tension.

The plot itself is loosely inspired by the Leopold and Loeb case. Nathan Freudenthal Leopold, Jr. and Richard A. Loeb were University of Chicago students who murdered a 14-year-old boy, believing themselves to be Nietzschean supermen capable of committing "the perfect crime" without fear of capture. They were wrong.

Leopold and Loeb also had a homosexual relationship which the film implies without ever dealing with directly. For example, at one point their maid, commenting on the students foul post-strangulation moods, says "They must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed this morning" gently implying that a single bed was involved.

To be honest, I was a little surprised that PIGLFF decided to show this film. It plays on outdated stereotypes and clearly associates homosexuality with deviant behavior. I guess they were just happy to get any screen-time in 1948. But I suppose the main reason they decided to show it is because they were giving the Artistic Achievement Award to Farley Granger and they were like, "Hey, let's show that really good gay-Hitchcock movie. You know, while we're at it."

Jimmy Stewart's in this too but he's not gay. Or is he?

Sicko: Does Moore know what he's trying to accomplish?

2007-08-13T22:46:00.000-04:00

Disclaimer:
For this post I'm just recycling a paper that I had to write for class. I apologize for it being dry and unnecessarily verbose (I had to fill two entire pages).

Michael Moore has devoted his life to altering American society through his film and television work. One can argue with his complaints or his suggested solutions but these criticisms are not particularly relevant. Moore’s work attempts to influence opinions and it should be judged by how effective it is at achieving that goal. Whether that goal is worthwhile should be a matter of politics.

The primary hurdle that Moore needs to overcome in Sicko is his image as a member of the radical left. In order to have his message generally accepted he must be perceived as the populist he wishes to be rather than the extremist his detractors accuse him of being.

Moore seems aware of this issue and begins his film with a fake-out. He introduces us to a couple of characters who have suffered from a lack of insurance. Although there are many Americans who are uninsured, they still constitute a minority and the middle-class demographic that Moore must play to in order to get his message across may not be able to relate to their situation. It is at this point in which Moore, rather ingeniously, stops the film and informs the viewers that the movie will not be about these people.

At this point Moore informs us that Sicko will be about people who are insured but find that their coverage is inadequate to deal with medical emergencies that they have encountered. This is a constituency that Moore’s audience can relate to. It immediately raises the question in their minds about whether or not their own insurance would cover all of their expenses in the wake of a catastrophic disease or other dire medical need.

This is the films greatest strength. It exposes the risks that face regular Americans who never know how extensive their insurance is until they are faced with doctor’s bills. It also allows Moore to explore the corporate policies that have victimized sick people and their stories make for very emotional sequences. Even someone who is completely opposed to Moore’s proposed solution of socialized medicine would be hard-pressed to watch this film without feeling that these patients have been treated unfairly.

For this reason, it is such a shame that Moore looses his way during the second half of the film. By incorporating the 9/11 rescue workers into his narrative Moore conjures up memories of his previous film Fahrenheit 9/11. That was a very divisive film and since Moore’s call to change is directed at all Americans he would be wise to avoid dredging those issues up. Although the President’s approval rating has dropped to around 30%, one must remember that approximately half of voters chose to vote for George W. Bush in 2000 and 2004.

If Moore wants to create a consensus on health care he must court the roughly 15-20% of the voters who helped to elect Bush but now think that his performance is unsatisfactory. By dredging up allegations about faulty pre-war intelligence, election stealing, and other controversial issues Moore polarizes his audience just when he needs to bring them together.

Moore’s greatest gift as a filmmaker is his ability to make movies that deal with complicated issues in an entertaining and easy to understand way. Although this leads his opponents to accuse him of oversimplification, is provides him with a powerful tool for changing people’s perceptions. However, his ability to convince those on the other side of the aisle is dramatically weakened when he plays into the popular caricature of himself as a radical troublemaker.

In this way, Sicko is a mixed success for Moore. He has created an intelligent movie about a complex dilemma that is appealing to many people because of its sentimentality and humor. Unfortunately, this film also serves as a slap in the face to a significant portion of Americans who supported Bush in the past but who may regret that decision now. In order to become the genuine populist that he presents himself as, Moore must learn to stop taking cheap shots at the moderate Republicans he needs to create a force large enough to truly affect national policy.

Now you know what it feels like to be one of my professors. Exciting, no?

Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe: The title is surprisingly literal

2007-08-11T17:42:00.000-04:00

One day future documentarian Errol Morris told famed documentarian (and feature film director) Werner Herzog about a movie he'd like to make. Herzog told Morris to stop talking about it and actually make the project happen, promising to eat his shoe if Morris followed through. This challenge resulted in two things: First, Morris produced the wonderfully bizarre documentary Gates of Heaven. Second, Herzog ate his shoe. An act that was documented in Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe by Les Blank who had previously filmed Herzog as his subject in Burden of Dreams.

I know this is starting to sound like a documentary circle-jerk but there was some impressive work done here. Morris got his career off to a great start with Gates of Heaven which chronicled the lives of pet cemetery proprietors and their clients. But I'm not here to review that film, so I'll just say that it's fascinating and well worth checking out. Oh, and Morris went on win an Oscar for directing The Fog of War: Eleven Lessons from the Life of Robert S. McNamara, which is also great.

Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe is a lesser work but at a brief 20 minutes I don't think it was meant to be a great piece of art. It plays more like a home video. That doesn't mean that it's boring or amateurish, far from it. This doc has a light conversational tone, as if you were friends with those involved and along for the ride. Herzog discusses the meaning of the stunt and how he plans on cooking his shoe to a semi-edible state but he also takes time to discuss art and the importance of following your dreams.

It's not the kind of movie I'd recommend to just anyone. But if you're interested enough in filmmaking (and Herzog in particular) to rent the Burden of Dreams DVD, which includes it as a special feature, it's worth checking out this little film.

Burden of Dreams: Don't take Klaus Kinski into the jungle with you. Just don't.

2007-08-08T23:38:00.000-04:00

Werner Herzog made a film called Fitzcarraldo about a deranged man who moves an entire boat over a mountain in the middle of the jungle by using indigenous people. In order to achieve this effect Herzog moved a boat over a mountain in the middle of the Amazon by hiring Indians. Burden of Dreams documents this remarkable event.

Herzog spends a lot of time on the commentary track for Fitzcarraldo trying to convince the listeners that he's not actually insane. After seeing this, I can see why he felt that was necessary. This film has scenes where Herzog delivers creepy monologues about the jungle, like this:

Nature here is vile and base . . . The trees here are in misery, and the birds are in misery. I don't think they sing. They just screech in pain. It's an unfinished country . . . It's like a curse weighing on an entire landscape . . . It's a land that God, if he exists has created in anger . . . Taking a close look at what's around us there is some sort of a harmony. It is the harmony of overwhelming and collective murder . . . But when I say this, I say this all full of admiration for the jungle. It is not that I hate it, I love it . . . But I love it against my better judgment.

Yikes,! When you start channeling Colonel Kurtz, it's time to get out of the jungle.

Also, this doc gives intriguing lines but doesn't always put them in context. For instance at one point when Herzog is talking about how important this project is to him he mentions that people have been killed while working on the film. Herzog is careful to point out in the commentaries for Fitzcarraldo and this documentary that the deaths were through no fault of his own (a couple of the extras attempted to steal a canoe in the middle of the night and drowned and there was also a crash involving a private plane). These claims come off as credible but they also sound a lot like someone who's trying to convince future investors that he actually is responsible.

Of course, we all know that the real lunatic in the jungle is temperamental actor Klaus Kinski. Kinski's outbursts were so upsetting to the indigenous actors that their chief approached Herzog and offered to have the actor killed. I've heard that Kinski also plotted to have Herzog murdered but I don't remember if that was in the documentary, one of the commentaries or just something I read online. Oddly, the only Kinski tantrum caught on film wasn't used it the final project. However, Herzog did use the footage when he made his own documentary about Kinski, My Best Fiend (no, that's not a typo).

Fitzcarraldo is a good film but it is a movie that's backstory is more interesting than the final film. Fortunately, Les Blank was there to film the behind-the-scenes drama and Herzog is still around to defend himself. Kinski died in '91, so there's nobody around to stick-up for him but that's probably just as well. He'd only make himself look worse.

A documentary about Werner Herzog? That's so Meta.

Champion: Who said there are no second acts in American lives? Oh, it was F. Scott Fitzgerald? Well, fuck that guy.

2007-08-06T23:45:00.000-04:00

Champion is a documentary about Danny Trejo, my favorite Hispanic character actor (sorry, Luis Guzmán). His fascinating life and oversized personality make for a thoroughly watchable film and are great at showcasing Trejo's awesomeness. But what surprised me the most is how it also serves as a critique of the American penal system. There are a lot of intimate moments where Trejo confesses what kind of a person he had to become in order to survive prison. Even more interesting are the moments when he talks about his struggle to escape from his jail persona once he was released.

Even if you don't have a fixation for Chicano bit-players I still think you can really enjoy this movie. It's the story of one man's journey from an, admittedly, insane criminal to a minor celebrity who uses his down-time between filming to serve as a motivational speaker for troubled youths. You'd have to be pretty heartless not to be moved by that.

This guy was a drug counselor . . . after he got out of prison.

Fitzcarraldo: Why do things the easy way?

2007-07-09T21:31:00.000-04:00

Fitzcarraldo is the second Werner Herzog film I've seen about an ill-fated voyage on the Amazon led by Klaus Kinski. The first one, Aguirre: The Wrath of God, reminded me of the beautiful insanity of Apocalypse Now, which it undoubtedly helped to inspire. The production difficulties of this film are also reminiscent of Apocalypse Now and they are documented in the film Burden of Dreams, expect to see a post on that in the near future.

Although it was truly marvelous to see a three-story tall boat dragged over a mountain (or a hill, if you want to be all accurate about it), I don't think that this film is as strong as Aguirre. That was about a man loosing himself to mad ambition while this one is about a man finding himself through his mad ambition. Maybe you disagree but for me it's much more fascinating to watch a man gradually self-destruct. It seems more honest.

Also, it takes a really long time for this film to get going. It's frustrating to watch a movie that's famous for moving a boat up a 40 degree slope and have to wait until halfway through before that feat is even suggested. It wouldn't bee so bad if the film jumped straight into Kinski in the jungle dealing with the mysterious Indians (Native-Peruvians?) but I think the first 45 minutes were about Kinski trying to build an opera house in a city. Not what I signed up for.

Although I can loose my patience with him and get a little bored, I must admit that Herzog is a daring filmmaker. He makes bold choices and is willing to go through hell to capture his vision on celluloid. Even if his films don't always entertain me, I'm always left with a few images that I just can't shake.

I still can't believe that Klaus Kinski is Nastassja Kinski's father. She is super hot (at least she was in 1984) and he resembles the undead.

Shaw Legends Double Feature - Iron Fist Adventures/The Thundering Ninja: I think this title is long enough without my pithy remarks

2007-07-06T10:23:00.000-04:00

First of all, I just want to say that Shaw Brothers Studio, founded by brothers Run Run Shaw and Run Me Shaw, is awesome. I was lucky enough to catch Vengeance!, The 36th Chamber of Shaolin and Intimate Confessions of a Chinese Courtesan at the Film Festival a few years ago and they were some of the coolest movies I have ever seen. Ever. In my life.

I was super-excited when I saw that five double features labeled as "Shaw Legends" were on Netflix even if their release date was "unknown". After about a year of sitting in my "Saved" section release dates were finally assigned and I did a little more research. I discovered that these films were not actually produced by the Shaw Brothers but were only films that featured actors who became "legendary" by working with the Shaw Brothers. That's sort of like seeing Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Life of Brian then buying a "Monty Python Legends" set containing Yellowbeard and The Adventures of Pluto Nash. Basically, this was a huge let down.

The first film, Iron Fist Adventures had something to do with politics, family, revenge and, I don't know, some other crap. It was really shitty in a boring way, not shitty in a fun way like a low-budget martial arts epic should be.

I think I would have liked The Thundering Ninja, the second film a lot more if the life hadn't been drained out of me by the previous movie. It's actually a remake of The Criminal (not that you've ever heard of that) if you count taking the majority of footage from one movie and adding white guys dressed as ninjas as "remaking". The plot involved a white ninja gang trying to steal missile plans from the US Government while being pursued by the CIA. What were a group of ninjas going to do with missile plans? I couldn't tell you.

Slither: Evolution is evil (not the teaching of it, rather the process that allows other species to become superior to us)

2007-07-03T20:35:00.000-04:00

Horror-Comedy is one of my favorite genres, it's right up there with Film Noir, German Expressionism and Spaghetti Westerns. Slither is a great example of this genre, it might not be Shaun of the Dead-great or Severance-great but it's still pretty awesome. I love how these films reference/parody other horror movies. This one owes a lot to Rabid but it also draws heavily from The Blob, Alien, The Thing, Tremors and, possibly, Squirm.

My biggest criticism is that it focuses too much on goofiness and not enough on the scary. Maybe I'm just spoiled because I'm used to seeing Nathan Fillion on "Firefly" and if anyone can balance comedy with darker elements, it's Joss Whedon. Either way, it was good to see Elizabeth Banks. I think she's great and I'm glad that she's getting steady work without becoming a star. Sometimes fame can ruin people. Oh, and how can you put Jenna Fischer in a movie and not let her do anything? I mean, come on, she was sleeping with the director. What's a girl got to do to get a decent role?

A lot of comedies and spoofy movies come apart at the end, so I was really impressed that this one managed to culminate with an incredibly creepy and funny scene that also managed to be kinda sweet. They also did a great job of sidestepping expectations and delivering some real surprises.

Veteran character-actor Michael Rooker turns into a giant squid-type monster. What more do you want out of a movie?

Once: Pretty music

2007-07-02T23:07:00.000-04:00

I really liked Once, even if it's not much of a movie. It mainly serves as a platform for Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová to make beautiful music together (for the record, that's a single entendre). The plot almost seems like an afterthought. I mean, the main characters don't even have names, for Christ's sake. If you don't fall in love with these performers you will hate this movie. Fortunately, they're pretty hard to resist.

Ah Ireland, how I long for your beautiful scenery and your homely people.

Unbreakable: Spoiler alert!

2007-06-30T15:22:00.000-04:00

I try not to talk about the endings of movies that people might see but I figure that since Unbreakable came out seven years ago it's probably safe. But, before I get to that, I'd like to say that I disagree with, what appears to be, the common consensus on M. Night Shyamalan. Namely that The Sixth Sense is awesome, Unbreakable was a let-down, Signs sucked, The Village was awful and Lady in the Water warranted a lynching. I think he's mainly been criticized for repeating himself but I don't think there's anything wrong with that. There's not a lot of variety in Hitchcock's oeuvre but he's still one of the greatest directors ever. I think there's a lot to say about a craftsman who find his niche and produces elegant variations on a theme. Shyamalan has consistently made films that are thrilling, funny and just generally entertaining. Yeah, he can go a little overboard and take his audience in bizarre directions but I admire a guy with that much audacity and imagination.

Anyway, on to the film and, more specifically, the ending. I like how Shyamalan basically gives away the ending right before it happens. It softens the blow and doesn't make it seem like he's trying to pull a fast one on you. I mean, when Bruce Willis is told that there are two kinds of villains, the lesser ones that fight with their hands and the real villain who fights with his mind, we know that we know that Willis has yet to face the mastermind. Also, we know that the film is almost over so there isn't enough time to introduce a new character. That narrows the search down to pretty much Willis' wife, son and the slightly deranged character played by Samuel L. Jackson. The choice is clear, especially if we recall Jackson's line "However unreal it may seem, we are connected, you and I. We're on the same curve, just on opposite ends."

However, I didn't really buy Jackson's motivation. His whole reason for being evil was an existential crisis. I mean, if he was trying to locate Willis so that he could lock him up in his lab and perform experiments on him until he could figure out how to steal Willis' unbreakability, reducing his own breakableness, that would make sense. But believing that "the scariest thing is . . . (t)o not know your place in this world, to not know why you're here" to the point of killing lots of innocent people? That's kinda silly.

I can't believe that Samuel L. Jackson was really Bruce Willis' father . . . and a sled! Oh Manoj, you've done it to us again.

She's All That: And a bag of potato chips

2007-06-28T23:56:00.000-04:00

I've always been confused by how I made it through high school without seeing She's All That until I realized that it was released during my freshman year of college. It's a solid teen flick but I wasn't crazy about the leads. That made me a little sad because I used to have a huge crush on Rachael Leigh Cook. I loved her in Josie and the Pussycats (one of the most underrated films of all-time), All I Wanna Do (an awesome movie, even if Joe Hofman and I are the only ones who have ever seen it), and Antitrust (she managed to make that one bearable) but I guess she just doesn't do it for me anymore. Oh, and I'm pretty sure that Freddie Prinze, Jr. is just famous because his dad was a shitty actor.

I would have liked to see more of the supporting cast. It's almost a crime to have Anna Paquin, Dulé Hill, Clea DuVall, Gabrielle Union and Kevin Pollak in your movie and not really give them anything to do. I mean, Sarah Michelle Gellar wasn't allowed to talk for Christ's sake! However, in a film that also features The Sherminator and that guy from the Twix commercial I was glad that they found time to give Matthew Lillard a decent part. He was truly awesome as a reality show reject, I kinda wish the whole movie was about his Brock Hudson. See, even his name is the coolest!

"I wanted Mary Ann on "Gilligan's Island" ugly, not Cornelius on Planet of the Apes ugly. TV ugly, not . . . ugly-ugly."

Crumb: Who's Robert Crumb?

2007-06-27T19:42:00.000-04:00

R. Crumb is probably best known for his "Keep on Truckin' . . ." illustration (above), a Big Brother & The Holding Company (Janis Joplin's band) album cover or Fritz the Cat (which he is none too proud of). He's also been accused of being a misogynist and a racist. I'm not really familiar enough with his work to say whether he's commenting on misogynism and racism or just being them. However, I do get the impression that he's the kind of artist who just takes whatever messed up thoughts are in his head and puts them on paper. That probably doesn't make for the most enlightened work but it's certainly honest.

There's a fine line between genius and madness and Crumb shows us how that line runs through one family. You know things are bad when the successful and happily-married brother is the one who was sexually attracted to Bugs Bunny as a child. And I'm not talking about Bugs dressed as a woman (hey, we've all been there) I mean regular old Bugs.

It's fascinating to see how similar Robert is to his oldest brother, Charles, and how differently their lives turned out. They're both talented artists who are also giant freaks. Yet, Robert was able to venture out into the world and carve out a niche for himself while Charles became a shut-in, living with his mother in a house with comforters hung up to block the windows. Even Max, Robert's youngest brother, escaped from home. If only to become a beggar who sits on a bed of nails on the streets of San Francisco.

Basically, this is a great documentary. Even if it did loose me for a little bit while that art critic was comparing Crumb to Goya, Brueghel and Daumier.

R. Crumb is on the far right, his relatively well-adjusted brother is in the middle and his, surprisingly, somewhat-normal son is on the left.

The Big Easy: Peasy Japanesey

2007-06-26T22:37:00.000-04:00

The Big Easy is one of those movies that people have been telling me to see for years and I can see why. Its got a pair of great early performances by Dennis Quaid and Ellen Barkin as well as some good supporting work from Ned Beatty and John Goodman. It's even got a cameo by Jim Garrison who you may remember as the character played by Kevin Costner in JFK or, if you're really old, the overzealous District Attorney of Orleans Parish from, uh, life.

That being said, I'm not sure how much I actually liked it. There were some great parts and the love scenes between Barkin and Quaid were pretty hot but I was hoping that it would be more of a neo-Noir, like Body Heat. Also, I could have done without the mega-happy ending. It seemed really gratuitous.

As a side note, I'm sure there are plenty of reasons to like Dennis Quaid (like, his talent) but for me his appeal boils down to one thing, he's got the Calvin Smile. It is a rare condition where one's smile forms an upside-down equilateral triangle. I had a roommate who suffered from it and it's one of the most goodwill inducing things I've ever seen. Seriously, how can you not love the little scamp?

According to IMDb: The production company was aided greatly in its ability to film in and around New Orleans by the state's Film Commission. Shortly after this film (which is about political corruption) premiered, several members of the Film Commission were indicted in a kickback scandal.

Awesome.

Grandma's Boy: Old ladies doing weed, that's funny. Right?

2007-06-25T22:05:00.000-04:00

Another mysterious entry in my Netflix queue is Grandma's Boy, an Adam Sandler movie only with Allen Covert instead of Adam Sandler. Who is Allen Covert? Exactly.

It also had Linda Cardellini from "Freaks and Geeks" (who's not as cute as a blonde) and I really sympathize for actresses in these kinds of films. Their job is to be a plot device and window dressing. It doesn't seem very rewarding. Oh well, at least she had a small part in Brokeback Mountain.

It was nice to see Kevin Nealon again. I hope he gets back to doing comedy soon.

The Band Wagon: Hey everybody, let's put on a show!

2007-06-22T23:37:00.000-04:00

Roger Ebert's Great Movies led me to the MGM musical The Band Wagon. It's directed by Vincente Minnelli (the father of that talented crackpot), stars an aging Fred Astaire (he's not Funny Face-old but he's pretty close) and features a key supporting role by Oscar Levant (who's not nearly as cool in this as he was in An American in Paris).

This film was written by Betty Comden and Adolph Green a year after the pair did Singin' in the Rain and this feels like a pale imitation of that (only with Broadway instead of Hollywood). Near the end it has a long, artsy dance number just like "Gotta Dance" (or the ballet in An American in Paris for that matter). Even the signature song “That’s Entertainment” seems like a second-rate “Make ‘em Laugh”.

If you're trying to figure out whether or not to watch this I'd ask you how much you liked Singin' in the Rain. If you're like me and you think that it's overrated and kind of uneven, I'd say you can give this one a miss. On the other had, if you think that it's the greatest movie ever made, I'd tell you to catch this one. It might not be as good but, hey, what is?

Do you find that picture as creepy as I do?

Saint Ralph: See Ralph, See Ralph Run

2007-06-21T17:28:00.000-04:00

Sometimes things mysteriously appear in my Netflix queue, things like Saint Ralph. This is supposed to be one of those comedies with a lot of heart but its got too much heart and not enough comedy.

Its about a Catholic school boy named Ralph who's mother falls into a coma. Ralph overhears someone say that it will take a miracle for his mother to recover and, in a separate incident, is told that it would take a miracle for someone from his schools track team to win the Boston Marathon. Ralph interprets this as meaning that he must win the Boston Marathon for his mother to recover, failing to realize that the miracle he actually needs is for his mother to recover. Fortunately, Ralph has former Olympic-caliber runner/current priest Campbell Scott and weight-lifting nurse Jennifer Tilly to help him on his quest.

Then some stuff happens that isn't particularly funny or uplifting and the whole thing concludes with an ending that's a complete cop-out.

Also, there's something about this kid that kinda makes me want to punch him in the face.

Underworld - Evolution: Things happen

2007-06-20T19:56:00.000-04:00

I saw the first half of Underworld: Evolution while I was half-drunk, then Ringo paused the movie for over an hour while he attempted to bake cookies and I ended up watching the second half with a headache as I caught up on reading Slate articles. Also, I never saw the original. So, this wasn't really an ideal viewing situation. This movie seemed pretty stingy with the vampire on werewolf action and heavy on complicated mythology and back stories that nobody cares about . . . really heavy.

Kate Beckinsale is hot. Kate Beckinsale in a skin-tight black leather outfit should be a lot hotter than it is.

Au revoir, les enfants: A reservoir, the childrens (I don't really know French)

2007-06-19T23:17:00.000-04:00

Reservoir Dogs got it's name from a mangled pronunciation of the Louis Malle film Au revoir, les enfants. Yeah yeah, I know, déjà vu. I didn't do it on purpose, it's just where Roger Ebert's Great Movies led me.

This is a sweet film about the relationship between two boys at a Catholic boarding school in France during World War II. In the beginning the new kid, Jean, tries to befriend Julien, the main character. Julien is very dismissive and very hostile towards Jean. Eventually this adversarial relationship morphs into a kind of friendship as Julien begins to suspect that Jean is a Jew in hiding. Julien's suspicions lead him to his older bother and the two share this exchange:

"Francois, what's a yid?"

"A Jew."

"I know, but what exactly is a Jew?"

"Someone who doesn't eat pork."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Not at all."

"What have people got against them?"

"The fact that they're smarter than us, and that they crucified Jesus."

"That's not true. It was the Romans. Is that why they have to wear yellow stars?"

"Will you take my letter to Davenne?"

"No. What do you want with her anyway?"

"Never mind. Be nice. I'll lend you my Arabian Nights. It'll give you a hard-on."

I think that speaks volumes.

If the Nazis ever take over your country, try to make sure that nobody gets dicked-over because that just leads to bad things.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Avoid hysteria

2007-06-18T20:12:00.000-04:00

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a capable adaptation of the radio series/record albums/novels/television series/computer game/stage show/comic book/video game/towel. I've read the novels and the movie felt like a Cliff's Notes version of them (which are a great read, if you fell the urge to get your geek on).

The whole thing seems a little half-baked. They cover all of the important themes but it feels like they tried to put too much in, plot lines that unfolded over several novels are condensed and wrapped up in a little over 90 minutes. And the character of Humma Kavula is set up to be a major villain but after his one scene about half-way through the movie he disappears, never to be seen again. It seems like their goal was to make a one-off film and, considering the volumes of source material available to them and the preexisting cult following, I don't know why they didn't save some stuff for the sequels and try to make a franchise out of this thing. That seems like it would have been a better business move.

I do think that they did a great job of casting this film. Martin Freeman (Tim from the British version of "The Office") pretty much embodies Arthur Dent and Mos Def is an unconventionally brilliant choice for Ford Prefect. Sam Rockwell was also perfect for Zaphod Beeblebrox, even if they did deal with his two heads in the most disturbing manner possible. Although, I don't get having Warwick Davis play the body of Marvin while Alan Rickman did the voice. Don't all the thankless we-need-a-dwarf-to-crawl-into-a-robot-but-not-talk roles go to Kenny Baker?

In the end, I'm not sure if this whole exercise works a film but it did succeed in reminding me of all the things about the books. So, I guess that's something.

FunFact: Zooey Deschanel is really pretty.

United 93: Unsettlingly effective

2007-06-17T18:24:00.000-04:00

United 93 is a highly disturbing movie.

The main reason for this is its commitment to realism. It deals with actual events and, therefore, carries the emotional weight of 9/11 on its back. A lesser film would have used that weight to manipulate the audience but director Paul Greengrass avoids this by maintaining a naturalistic style. Most of the shots are hand-held which gives the impression that we are watching a documentary and subtly implies that everything you see is real. Also, the score avoids indicating how the audience should feel. There's no sweeping music at the dramatic moments and this enables you to experience emotions in your own time. I found myself getting choked up a little bit after the big moments after I'd had a minute to process things.

The illusion of reality is maintained by the cast of largely unknown actors. One of the curses of becoming a successful actor is that is that people eventually begin to see you as more of a personality than a character. With unknown actors you don't have that kind of distraction. The film also spent a lot of time dealing with the air-traffic controllers and others on the ground who are slow to realize what is going on. The cliche thing to do in a movie like this would be to indicate the seriousness of the situation to the audience by having the actors get freaked out. However this film shows the characters as competent but ignorant. This forces the audience to engage with the film and supply the sense of urgency that we know is required but that these observers fail to realize.

This isn't an easy film to watch, partly because of the tragic subject matter and partly because it asks so much of the viewer. Audiences today have been lulled by films that only seek to passively entertain them so when something like this comes along it can be very challenging.

However, there was one aspect of the movie that really bothered me. In a film that dealt with highly contentious issues by being largely apolitical (it left all of the judgments up to you), it was a shame to see the one European passenger portrayed as naively attempting to appease the terrorists. It came off as a cheap shot against the French, Germans, etc. and it seems beneath this film.

The Island of Dr. Moreau: Hey, House of Pain would make an awesome band name

2007-06-06T23:57:00.000-04:00

This is the third version of The Island of Dr. Moreau that I've seen (fourth if you count Island of the Twilight People) but it's the first one I've seen that's set in the proper period. I have a problem with adaptations which set H. G. Wells in a contemporary setting. What I really like about his novels is that they're a hundred-year-old vision of the future. To me it's much more fascinating to read about Martians that launch themselves to Earth from a giant cannon than watch flying saucers or some weird lightning/subterranean invasion strategy. That being said, this movie isn't all that great. It's no Island of Lost Souls but it's definitely better than you know what. It's pretty impressive that they got Burt Lancaster and Michael York to be a part of this.

Watching this I couldn't help but notice that Dr. Moreau, who essentially made himself a god to the creatures on his island, is very reminiscent of Col. Kurtz. Then I couldn't help but think about how this film was made after Heart of Darkness was written (which was written after The Island of Doctor Moreau) but before Apocalypse Now was made and therefore well before Marlon Brando played both roles . . . and that made my head hurt. I was also impressed by a scene where the Sayer of the Law noted that "He tells us not to kill and yet He kills". That's a fairly impressive critique of religion from a manimal.

By the by, this is the greatest movie review I've ever read.

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three: 17 people have been taken hostage, better call Walter Matthau and Jerry Stiller

2007-06-05T19:54:00.000-04:00

Reservoir Dogs got it's criminals-identify-themselves-by-color idea from The Taking of Pelham One Two Three, a fairly awesome 70's crime thriller with one of the best closing shots I've ever seen. It's also got a great cast with Robert Shaw (the guy from Jaws whose name you don't know), Martin Balsam (the guy from Psycho who's not psycho), Hector Elizondo (the guy from "Chicago Hope"), Tony Roberts (the guy from all those Woody Allen movies), Jerry Stiller (George's dad), and Walter Matthau (seriously, if you don't know, I can't help you).

Shaw, Balsam, and Elizondo are the crooks who hijack a subway train, Matthau and Stiller are the transit authority cops trying to keep things under control and Roberts is the guy from the Mayor's office that's responsible for getting the ransom money. A lot of the tension and humor comes from Matthau, Stiller, and pretty much everyone else's confusion over why these guys decided to hijack a form of transportation that's confined to tracks and underground and how they think they can possible get away with the loot.

Pelham is the earliest movie that I've seen which focuses on a group of criminals who take a large group as hostages. It was released a year before 1975's Dog Day Afternoon, with which it shares many thematic elements. I think it's significant that both films reference Attica and I can't help but wonder if those prison riots awakened some fear in the American public that eventually lead to a mini-genre with blockbuster films like the Die Hard series (coming soon Die Hard 4: Die Die Hard Die). If I were a film student that would totally become the thesis for a paper.

FunFact: Mustaches were popular in 1974.

Star Trek - Nemesis: Yeah, they made ten of these...so far

2007-06-04T17:35:00.000-04:00

When you expect a movie to completely blow it leaves a lot of room for you to be pleasantly surprised. That's how I felt about Star Trek: Nemesis, it wasn't the best Trek film (by a long shot) but it didn't suck. The plot is completely ridiculous/confusing but it seemed like the cast was having a lot of fun and that counts for a lot.

Early in the picture we discover that the Romulan Empire consists of the planet Romulus (where all those Vulcan-looking guys live) and the planet Remus (where the Romulans keep their Nosferatu-looking slaves). Soon the entire Romulan Senate is assassinated in a Reman coup lead by Captain Picard's evil clone in a sequence that undoubtedly contains complex mythological allusions that I don't get. This movie also contains Data's retarded brother, who is not to be confused with Data's evil twin. Oh, and in case your not all that familiar with the Trek universe, Data is a robot. Also, this movie marked Wil Wheaton's return the Trek universe as Wesley Crusher . . . but they didn't let him speak. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

This movie raised a lot of questions for me:

The started this thing off with a senate scene? Is that because they saw Episode I and thought, "That's the way to go!"?

Is that a new Enterprise? What happened to the old one? Wait, was it destroyed at the end of First Contact? Then, is this the same ship they had in Insurrection?

What the hell happened in Insurrection anyway? Was F. Murray Abraham really in a Star Trek movie or did I dream that?

Why isn't Geordi blind anymore?

Doesn't Worf work on the Deep Space Nine station? How'd he get back on the Enterprise?

Does Data still have emotions? I know he got that chip but does it still work or did he turn it off or something?

Are robots supposed to get a little fatter as they get older?

Why doesn't the Federation have cloaking technology yet? The Romulans have had it for hundreds of years. What's the hold up guys?

Is Picard's evil clone played by Billy Corgan?

Was Picard always bald?

How did Kathryn Janeway get to be an admiral? I thought she was stuck out in the Delta Quadrant.

Worf is familiar with the works of Irving Berlin? Really?

Picard had Shalaft's syndrome as a child? Was I supposed to know that?

They're not really going to show the naked wedding, are they?

Why didn't they let Jonathan Frakes direct this? He did such a good job with First Contact. Wait, was it because of Insurrection?

Who are those aliens with dune buggies?

Does Riker have an evil twin too? One who ironically sported no facial hair? Or was it a double created in a transporter mishap? Whatever happened to that guy?

So, Remans have tea. And they can serve it hot. But is it Earl Grey?

How bad do things have to get for Deanna Troi to take control of the Enterprise?

Why do ships in Star Trek always slow down and stop when their engines fail? Don't objects in motion tend to, uh, stay in motion? I'll have to consult my copy of The Physics of Star Trek.

You can't cover Ron Perlman in that much make-up and then not tell me that he's in the movie. It's just not fair.

Atlantic City: Inspired setting, inspired casting, so where's the inspired film?

2007-06-01T18:03:00.000-04:00

Atlantic City is another movie I got from Roger Ebert's Great Movies. It's directed by Louis Malle, the director of My Dinner with Andre (and husband of Candice Bergen, until his death), who's not quite part of the French New Wave. I liked My Dinner with Andre more. Atlantic City is a solid film with the delightful combination of an old Burt Lancaster and a young Susan Sarandon, however, it didn't really move me. There are plenty of admirable things about this film, such as it's focus on characters over the drug-related plot, but it just left me a little cold.

In this film Susan Sarandon takes off her top and rubs lemons on her breasts . . . several times.

Never Say Never Again: Or do, really, it's up to you

2007-05-28T20:46:00.000-04:00

Due to complicated legal issues, Never Say Never Again is not part of the official Eon-MGM/UA-Columbia/TriStar-Sony* Bond cannon. But it does have Sean Connery, so that gives it way more street cred than the original Casino Royale. Unfortunately, for a Bond film, it's a little lame. Don't get me wrong it's got some cool stuff (Connery fights a couple of sharks) but it also has some not so great stuff (Bond and a villain have a video game showdown, comic relief is provided by Mr. Bean as Nigel Small-Fawcett). The critical misstep, however, is having the film focus on the number two man at SPECTRE, Maximilian Largo (played by some random guy), as the main bad guy when they have Max von Sydow cast as Ernst Stavro Blofeld, the number one man at SPECTRE and coolest Bond villain. It's a missed opportunity and one that could only be made by someone who doesn't really know what makes a Bond film.

*This corporation is no longer affiliated with the MGM Grand Las Vegas.

Black Caesar: More of a referance to Little Caesar than Julius Caesar

2007-05-27T21:03:00.000-04:00

Black Caesar stars Fred Williamson who I'm familiar with because of his role as Capt. Oliver Harmon "Spearchucker" Jones in M*A*S*H and who you might know as Frost in From Dusk Till Dawn. I'm sorry, that was presumptuous of me. Maybe you're a big blaxploitation fan who's seen him in The Legend of Nigger Charley, Hammer, That Man Bolt, Hell Up in Harlem and Boss Nigger. Or you could know him from his professional football career where, according to Wikipedia "Williamson became one of football's first self-promoters, coining the nickname 'The Hammer'--because he used his forearm to deliver karate style blows to the heads of opposing receivers" (Seriously?!? You're allowed to do that?). Perhaps you know him from more recent roles in Original Gangstas or Starsky & Hutch. I don't know and I shouldn't assume.

The movie is fairly standard blaxploitation fare (Williamson gets tired of taking shit from the man and decides to start sticking it to him instead) and I really wasn't that engaged for the first hour or so while I was semi-busy transferring my CDs to my laptop. So, I was fairly unprepared for the intense ending to this one. (In case it's not clear, Spoiler Alert) After a failed assassination attempt, Williamson runs across half of New York using his hand to cover a nasty gunshot wound to his gut trying to track down his nemesis, who I'll just refer to as "Whitey". When Williamson finally catches up to his enemy, Whitey is ready and gets the drop on his critically wounded foe. This begins a sequence rife with symbolism as Whitey forces Williamson to kneel before him and shine his shoes in front of an American flag. Williamson then turns the table on his opponent by beating him with the shoeshine kit and telling Whitey that he's "going to die like a field nigger!" Then Williamson picks up the shoe polish and says to Whitey that he's "going to make you look real good" as he gives him a blackface makeover. Finally, Williamson attempts to force him to sing a minstrel tune as he beats Whitey to death. It's an incredibly powerful sequence and it's followed by a poignant sequence where Williamson himself is assaulted by a gang of black youths and left for dead in the wreckage of the ghetto to James Brown's "Down and Out in New York City".

This film taught me that a James Brown soundtrack makes everything way cooler.

Pirates of the Caribbean - At World's End: With all of that violence it should have been rated . . .

2007-05-27T01:21:00.000-04:00

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End continues in the tradition of it's predecessors by being way better than Jerry Bruckheimer presents A Theme Park Attraction: Part 3 has any right to be. The more I think about it the more I just can't get past the fact that I really like these movies. This movie has a nearly three-hour runtime, more characters than it knows what to do with, the most complicated, convoluted plot I can imagine when you combine that with Disney's tradition of craptastic live-action fare, the fact that Bruckheimer might be a demon sent from hell to destroy the art of cinema and that this whole disaster-on-paper is based on a glorified carnival ride it's inconceivable that it could still be this much fun the third time around.

Johnny Depp has recieved plenty of (well-earned) praise for his role as Captain Jack Sparrow but he can't just turn a mess into an awesome movie all by himself. I'm going to have to give some credit to Gore Verbinski. I suspect that the man behind the wicked American re-make of The Ring is the unsung hero of this trilogy. I mean, Johnny Depp might be cooler than Jebus but at the end of the day he's one of many balls that needs to be kept in the air to prevent this franchise from turning into a Hindenburg.

Anyone know when Cameron Crowe is going to finish his Elizabethtown trilogy? Orlando Bloom's gotta work, you know.

Karamoja!: The exclamation point stands for exploitation

2007-05-26T15:36:00.000-04:00

I went to a Secret Cinema screening the other day and the guy who runs the show over there got up and a made an impassioned plea to support repertory cinema and spread the word to our friends (Well, impassioned for the Secret Cinema guy, he's pretty mellow and has a really dry sense of humor). In case you don't know, repertory cinemas are places that show classics, older films that are not quite classics and occasionally newer movies that don't make it to theaters, usually foreign (I'm talking about Africa foreign not, like, Pedro Almodóvar foreign). So, go see repertory films . . . and the Ritz doesn't count, try IHouse, Exhumed Films, Andrew's Video Vault or Secret Cinema. Well, that's my plug for today.

The program began with some short films. The first one was an off-brand Soundie called Jungle Rhythm. A Soundie was essentially a music video made for video jukeboxes that were commonly found in bars and nightclubs in the 30's and 40's. This one featured a chick in a skimpy outfit dancing to a vaguely tribal beat. You could see, like, half her belly-button, it was pretty hot. The second short was called Adventure Parade: South Africa or maybe it was Adventure Paradise, my notes are unclear and I don't really remember anything about it. The final short was an educational/propaganda film produced by a group of missionaries called African Cousins. I was a little worried that this one was going to be way racist but it turned out to be a very positive look at a community in Africa and how similar they were to Americans (at the time we had considerably more people growing up on farms in this country than we do now). The whole production was geared toward children, complete with cheesy narration and my favorite part was when the narrator described how a young boy scoffed at an ancient ritual to banish evil spirits explaining that the boy had learned that there were no such things as evil spirits in his Sunday school class (where he, presumably, learned the much less-silly idea about the three good spirits).

Then things got underway with the main attraction, Karamoja!, a documentary about Uganda (who's history of genocide was made into a major motion picture starring Forest Whitaker, not Don Cheadle). This film was made by a dentist who was informed that he only had six months to live. This man, who had never made a film before, decided to grab a camera and head off to an area that had been undisturbed by western culture bringing with him a small crew (one of who he wound up marrying early in the process).

When this movie was released in America it was presented as a Shockumentary, a kind of exploitation film that could get away with showing violence and nudity under the auspices of educational fare. And although this film has plenty of violence and more full-frontal nudity than you'll ever see in a non-pornographic film, it's also a sensitive look at a culture that's remained unchanged for thousands of years. The violence is mostly directed at animals, which can be hard for some people to watch, but it's all part of surviving in a harsh environment and probably more humane than our industrial slaughterhouses. And even though there's plenty of nudity, none of it is sexual. It's just that Africa is really hot and these people have never heard of skin cancer, there's really no reason for them to not walk around with their junk hanging out.

It's an odd juxtaposition, the sincere attempt to understand an alien culture packaged as a sleazy sex and violence expose, but that's what makes repertory films so fascinating.